WEBVTT 00:00:37.040 --> 00:00:39.600 Welcome to the Stone Choir Podcast. 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:40.480 I am Corey J. 00:00:40.720 --> 00:00:41.840 Mahler. And 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.920 I'm still woe. 00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:47.600 On today's Stone Choir we're going to be discussing the plight of 00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:51.280 young men in principally the United States, but really I think everywhere 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:56.000 in the West Western world, particularly young men who are unmarried. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:59.600 Uh some what we say will have to do with married men. 00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.880 Uh principally this will be addressed to basically like guys you know 00:01:03.040 --> 00:01:06.720 twelve to fifteen up to you know forty, and secondarily to their 00:01:06.720 --> 00:01:11.280 fathers, the fathers of both sons and daughters who are facing some 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:13.760 of the circumstances we're gonna describe. 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:16.880 As a warning to fathers, you know, listen with children, we're not 00:01:16.880 --> 00:01:20.720 gonna be you know graphic or inappropriate with anything today, I don't 00:01:20.720 --> 00:01:24.560 think, but obviously the the subjects you would expect are going to 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:27.760 come up probably at some length, so you may want to screen 00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:31.040 this before listening to with younger children. 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:34.880 As we mentioned last week we were also in the middle of 00:01:34.880 --> 00:01:37.680 an arc dealing with politics. 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:40.240 As we mentioned last week, we'll probably break some of those up 00:01:40.240 --> 00:01:43.200 just because of the the time commitment and you know we're recording 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:45.120 on a Tuesday, yesterday was Labor Day. 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:47.680 So this is one that didn't take as much prep because we 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:50.320 know a lot of this off the top of our heads. 00:01:50.320 --> 00:01:55.600 This is, however, an episode that's a continuation of seven episodes that 00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:58.240 uh we've done in the recent past. 00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:02.080 Uh so I'm gonna refer to back to them specifically because today 00:02:02.240 --> 00:02:05.360 as we're speaking, you know, principally to young men, there's a lot 00:02:05.360 --> 00:02:08.560 of groundwork that we've laid on kind of more theory 00:02:09.600 --> 00:02:12.640 And this one we're going to try to make as practical and 00:02:12.640 --> 00:02:15.680 hopefully encouraging as possible. 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.520 That encouragement obviously is going to take the form as Christians that 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:22.400 ultimately you have to trust in God to deliver on his promises 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:26.560 and to deliver the good things because I think we should all 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:30.320 have the sense that you can do everything right, do everything by 00:02:30.320 --> 00:02:33.440 the book, and things may still may not pan out. 00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:38.400 And And it's very difficult, particularly for a young man to see 00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:40.960 the state of the world and perhaps the state of his own 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:45.920 dating life and think I I just can't handle this anymore. 00:02:45.920 --> 00:02:50.640 And we don't want guys who are facing those circumstances to listen 00:02:50.640 --> 00:02:55.600 to Job's wife's advice when she said, curse God and die. 00:02:55.600 --> 00:02:58.960 That's not the Christian response, obviously. 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:03.280 We're gonna encourage trust and and confidence and God's promises, but we're 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:05.280 also here living and there's stuff for us to do. 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.000 There's stuff for you as young men to do. 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.280 The groundwork, as I said, was laid in seven recent episodes, so 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:13.840 I'm just gonna name them to give you a pointer back to 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:16.880 if this is one you happen to be listening to first, they 00:03:16.880 --> 00:03:20.560 address different aspects of some of the things that we're just going 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:23.600 to assume are already part of your knowledge in this episode. 00:03:23.600 --> 00:03:26.480 Uh the first of those is episode twenty two on women, scripture 00:03:26.480 --> 00:03:30.320 and ontology, and then the next episode twenty three on feminism. 00:03:30.320 --> 00:03:33.520 That's where we specifically deal with the question of what is a 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.880 woman, what is a girl, how are they different than men, why 00:03:36.880 --> 00:03:42.400 are the two sexes fundamentally different and that's the episode two-part series 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:45.840 where we dealt a great deal with headship and the importance of 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:50.640 headship. So that's obviously going to be implicit in this conversation, both 00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:53.680 for young men who are looking to become heads of your own 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:58.880 households, and also for fathers who have sons and daughters who are 00:03:58.880 --> 00:04:01.360 going out into the world and facing this 00:04:02.320 --> 00:04:07.840 great unknown, horrifying unknown, man made horrors beyond comprehension as we look 00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:12.160 at the state of the relations of men and women today. 00:04:12.160 --> 00:04:13.120 Episode twenty 00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:15.840 six on the fear of the Lord that goes back to as 00:04:15.920 --> 00:04:18.800 I said, you know, we're trusting in in God's promises. 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:23.760 And ultimately, if we fear God as He commands us to, we 00:04:23.760 --> 00:04:26.240 can't be afraid of anything else. 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.920 So that's one small element of this, but it's a really important 00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:32.080 one. And I'll spoil the ending of this episode. 00:04:32.080 --> 00:04:35.440 We're gonna end with Jesus' speech in the Sermon on the Mount, 00:04:35.440 --> 00:04:38.400 where he talks about the birds of the air and the beasts 00:04:38.400 --> 00:04:43.600 of the field trusting and receiving his promises and his gifts without 00:04:43.840 --> 00:04:45.360 anything. They don't know. 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:47.120 They just God takes care of them. 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:50.480 And God promises that if he takes care of, you know, birds 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:53.600 and animals and insects, he's also going to take care of you 00:04:53.680 --> 00:04:55.520 because he died for you on the cross. 00:04:55.520 --> 00:04:58.080 So I hope that'll be the arc of this whole episode as 00:04:58.080 --> 00:05:00.400 we go through these things. 00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:04.320 Uh in episode twenty-seven, the listener feedback episode, the first one that 00:05:04.320 --> 00:05:07.600 we've done, we'll probably do another one here pretty soon, we talked 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:10.720 some about celibacy versus chastity. 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:13.600 That's gonna be a discussion that we're gonna rehash here again because 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:16.480 it's been blowing up on in the internet recently again. 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:20.320 And it's one of the most fundamental aspects of the struggle of 00:05:20.320 --> 00:05:22.560 a young man who's full of testosterone. 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:26.560 He's surrounded by girls who are half naked because their fathers are 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:28.880 fools and need to be beaten. 00:05:28.880 --> 00:05:29.200 And 00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:34.320 the difference between chastity and celibacy is a vital one because a 00:05:34.320 --> 00:05:37.760 lot of pastors are spreading a lot of absolute garbage that is 00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:41.840 binding men's consciences and fashions that are ultimately disastrous. 00:05:41.840 --> 00:05:43.600 So we'll get into that. 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:47.120 Also, I want to mention just briefly in episode uh twenty-seven on 00:05:47.200 --> 00:05:48.400 for listener feedback. 00:05:48.640 --> 00:05:51.440 It's the only episode where we've ever mentioned that we have a 00:05:51.440 --> 00:05:54.080 donation link on the website. 00:05:54.080 --> 00:05:58.400 As we mentioned in episode nine, Paywalling God, we never started this 00:05:58.400 --> 00:06:00.720 thing to get a dime. 00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:03.760 The only reason we initially created the donation page was that people 00:06:03.760 --> 00:06:04.720 kept asking for it. 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:08.320 And so if if someone wants to support what we're doing, we're 00:06:08.320 --> 00:06:09.280 not going to say no. 00:06:09.440 --> 00:06:11.360 that frankly that would be insulting. 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.600 But we've never made it a point of what we're doing. 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:18.000 Uh recently we've had a couple very sizable donations and I wanted 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:18.960 to acknowledge those men. 00:06:18.960 --> 00:06:20.960 That was tremendously generous of you. 00:06:20.960 --> 00:06:23.600 And I also want to acknowledge the fact that 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:27.600 when Cory and I set out to do Stone Choir, it was 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:31.120 with the hope that we would build an archive, you know, library 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:34.240 of episodes that would tackle some of these tough subjects, and it 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:36.720 would just sit there on the internet and you know hopefully some 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:39.600 people would find it in enough time that we wouldn't lose hope 00:06:39.840 --> 00:06:41.760 that it was ever gonna be discovered. 00:06:41.760 --> 00:06:44.000 We never really expected it to take off. 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:47.280 It has in terms of numbers and in terms of support. 00:06:47.280 --> 00:06:47.600 And 00:06:48.640 --> 00:06:52.160 the reason I'm mentioning the money, despite the fact that that's a 00:06:52.320 --> 00:06:55.680 it's not the point, and B I don't if if someone wants 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:58.000 to call us grifters, whatever. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:02.480 I I uh I'm not comfortable talking about it, but I want 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:06.240 to acknowledge that men have given and I want to acknowledge the 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:06.640 fact that 00:07:08.080 --> 00:07:11.520 it goes to a broader subject that is another one of the 00:07:11.520 --> 00:07:14.080 episodes we'll talk about in a little bit. 00:07:14.080 --> 00:07:17.520 When we act in the world, when we act in each other's 00:07:17.520 --> 00:07:19.200 lives, we are God's hands. 00:07:19.520 --> 00:07:20.960 In other people's lives. 00:07:20.960 --> 00:07:24.320 The thing that you do for your neighbor is you acting on 00:07:24.320 --> 00:07:27.280 behalf of God for God for your neighbor. 00:07:27.280 --> 00:07:31.600 Those are the good works which He promised He prepared beforehand for 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:37.440 us. And so when someone gives us a gift, small or large, 00:07:37.440 --> 00:07:41.200 in a sense, in a very real sense, I don't mean hypothetically, 00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:45.120 that's literally true, not only is that person doing something, but God 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:49.280 is doing something through them for us. 00:07:49.280 --> 00:07:52.880 If anyone happened to read my docs, there was some complete nonsense 00:07:52.880 --> 00:07:54.800 in there about my finances. 00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:56.960 I haven't had a paycheck in ten years. 00:07:56.960 --> 00:08:01.760 And I am now effectively probably unemployable by virtue of having started 00:08:01.760 --> 00:08:06.080 this podcast along with Corey, who is also more or less unemployable, 00:08:06.080 --> 00:08:12.000 because we're disreputable neo-Nazi podcasters according to the people who hate God. 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:13.120 I'm not complaining. 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:14.960 I'd signed up for this and we've said in a lot of 00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:16.400 episodes. That's fine. 00:08:16.400 --> 00:08:17.120 We're gonna do this. 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:18.080 We're gonna obey God. 00:08:18.080 --> 00:08:19.840 And I trust in God. 00:08:19.840 --> 00:08:24.960 But when people start sending gifts to us, I can't ignore the 00:08:24.960 --> 00:08:28.320 fact that that is God saying, do more of this. 00:08:28.320 --> 00:08:31.440 And to be clear, this is not about money. 00:08:31.440 --> 00:08:34.720 We get Corey and I, between the two of us, we probably 00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:38.480 get between six and twelve messages every single week from people who 00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:43.280 I discovered the podcast recently, the reaching out to say thank you 00:08:43.280 --> 00:08:45.040 for what you're doing. 00:08:45.040 --> 00:08:48.720 It's in specifically saying, I'm going back to church. 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:50.160 I'm reading my Bible more. 00:08:50.160 --> 00:08:53.040 Maybe I'm going to church for the first time, or I left 00:08:53.040 --> 00:08:56.000 my church where no one cared about God, and I found a 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.720 church where they actually preached the whole council of God. 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:02.160 We get those messages all the time as a direct result of 00:09:02.160 --> 00:09:05.200 the things that we have said on this podcast. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:07.440 If that's all that we ever got, that would be more than 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.760 enough reason for us to continue to do it. 00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:14.480 If additionally God also says we're going to cover some of your 00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:18.800 bills through you, through listeners, I want to acknowledge the fact that 00:09:18.800 --> 00:09:21.200 that's I'm grateful to God and I'm grateful to you for doing 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:23.360 that. And if it goes away tomorrow, that's fine. 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:24.800 That's not the reason. 00:09:24.800 --> 00:09:27.360 Uh we will put a link this time in the show notes 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:30.640 to the donation page, not to solicit, but because about a month 00:09:30.640 --> 00:09:32.960 ago I I was mentioning it to Corey, I happened to look 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:36.640 at it again, and it only had like three categories of monthly 00:09:36.640 --> 00:09:39.200 donations, and a couple of them were just absurdly large. 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:42.000 And I said, that's stupid, no one should should ever give that 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:42.960 much money. 00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:46.400 And so he went back through and took that as a challenge 00:09:46.400 --> 00:09:50.160 to basically turn it into kind of a a Bible Easter egg. 00:09:50.160 --> 00:09:54.720 If you've seen recently the ADL list of racist numbers between one 00:09:54.880 --> 00:09:58.160 and a hundred, basically Corey turned it into kind of a mini 00:09:58.160 --> 00:10:02.400 Bible study where the donation tiers m most of them are completely 00:10:02.400 --> 00:10:04.800 absurd, but they're Bible references. 00:10:04.800 --> 00:10:07.600 So that's more free entertainment if you're a listener. 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:10.080 You know, you want to be entertained additionally for free, like I 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:11.840 said in the paywalling episode. 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:16.080 Everything we do is completely free because we're doing this because we 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:17.680 think God compels us. 00:10:17.680 --> 00:10:21.520 And we would never charge for something that we think God wants 00:10:21.520 --> 00:10:22.000 us to do. 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:25.120 That would be going completely opposite directions. 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.080 So I'm mentioning the donation page because it's kind of entertaining. 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:30.880 And if you want to test your Bible knowledge, you'll I think 00:10:30.880 --> 00:10:33.120 you'll have fun with some just trying to figure out what those 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:35.600 numbers have to do with what Bible verses. 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.880 Corey has tremendous knowledge of scripture a lot more than me and 00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:40.800 that's it's just fun and entertaining. 00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:43.120 So that'll be there. 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.600 Since I mentioned I also want to reiterate something I said in 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:49.520 the listener episode, which is please don't give us money if ever 00:10:49.520 --> 00:10:51.760 in the future you are going to be offended by something that 00:10:51.760 --> 00:10:52.480 we say. 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:56.400 If we come after one of things that you are devoted to 00:10:56.480 --> 00:10:58.960 and we call it an idol and we say we're gonna smash 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:01.360 it, which is one of the things that we're here to do, 00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:03.440 I don't want to give offense and then for someone to feel 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:05.840 like all those guys they were a fraud and they ripped me 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:09.120 off. Please don't give money if you're gonna be offended if we 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:10.960 trash you. 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:12.320 We don't mean to trash you. 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:15.120 We're trying to focus on what's true and what's false. 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:18.000 If we think that something's false that you happen to like, we're 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:20.000 going to give it the same treatment that we've given all the 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:20.960 other things you like. 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:24.800 So if in the future you would be horribly offended if we 00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:29.200 said something that you found disparaging, please don't give us any money 00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:32.320 because I don't want feel like I don't want you to feel 00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:33.680 like we ripped you off. 00:11:33.680 --> 00:11:37.440 That's I never would end up feel that way. 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:41.920 Next episode in the arc that I mentioned, 28 Sweat the Small 00:11:41.920 --> 00:11:45.040 Stuff. That's one where we talk a little bit about things that 00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:49.360 we can do in our churches and communities to kind of rebuild 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:53.280 a Christian society because we are so far gone. 00:11:53.280 --> 00:11:57.840 We're so many generations of now away from anything that could remotely 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:01.360 look like a Christian society that we gotta start somewhere. 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:03.280 And so in that episode we talked a little bit about, you 00:12:03.280 --> 00:12:06.960 know, things like job boards in uh in your congregation. 00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:10.000 Not only should you be worshiping with those folks every week, but 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:12.400 you should be trying to hire them or you should be working 00:12:12.400 --> 00:12:12.960 for them. 00:12:12.960 --> 00:12:18.000 You should have commerce with your brothers in Christ, preferentially. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:20.960 That's something that has always been the case and it should continue 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:21.600 to be so. 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:24.720 So that also we'll talk about today specifically. 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:26.720 That also includes finding a maid. 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:30.000 Not necessarily go to church to find a girl at church 'cause 00:12:29.920 --> 00:12:34.480 you may not find them, especially in a lot of conservative congregations. 00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:36.080 Sometimes it's all old people. 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:36.640 But you know what? 00:12:36.640 --> 00:12:39.200 Those old people have daughters and granddaughters. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:41.200 Maybe asking them is gonna help. 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:43.040 So we'll talk about that in this episode. 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:48.000 In 29 episode on the generational divide, we specifically talk about the 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.960 fact that young guys are today in a position where a lot 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:55.120 of guys our age and older are probably going to give you 00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:59.120 incredibly stupid advice because things have changed so much even in five, 00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:04.720 ten, fifteen, let alone thirty or forty years, that when some boomer 00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:08.400 says pull yourself up by your bootstraps, we talked about how idiotic 00:13:08.400 --> 00:13:09.920 that is on its face. 00:13:09.920 --> 00:13:13.200 It's the literal opposite of what the the original intent of that 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:15.600 expression was. 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:18.240 You as a young man, if you're listening to us, you're in 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:21.200 a position where you have to weigh all these things that all 00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:24.080 these old guys are telling you, and some of it will be 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:25.840 true, most of it's gonna be garbage. 00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:27.760 And it's all gonna sound the same to you and you're not 00:13:27.760 --> 00:13:29.120 gonna have any frame of reference. 00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:31.760 So that's an episode where we talk a little bit about how 00:13:31.760 --> 00:13:38.000 sometimes you respecting your elders is limited to loving them and according 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.840 them dignity, but disregarding some of their completely retarded advice. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:44.880 In a loving way, you know, don't pick fights, but if they're 00:13:44.880 --> 00:13:47.040 saying something idiotic, don't listen. 00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:49.840 Because it's your life that you will screw up if you follow 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:50.800 the wrong path. 00:13:50.800 --> 00:13:52.080 And the same applies to us. 00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:56.080 Like I'm I'm in my mid forties, Corey's in his mid thirties. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:58.240 We're older guys to some of you. 00:13:58.240 --> 00:13:59.440 There are things that we don't know. 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:02.720 And we mentioned I in one of the episodes, we talked to 00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:05.840 a lot of guys in their early twenties and late teens and 00:14:06.160 --> 00:14:09.440 we would say stupid things if we weren't talking to guys your 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:12.240 age because it's stuff I would never imagine. 00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:14.800 I can never imagine how bad it is for you unless I 00:14:14.800 --> 00:14:16.560 was talking to you guys who were telling me. 00:14:16.560 --> 00:14:18.960 So we're gonna talk a little bit today about some of those 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:22.640 things, but we also reference in that episode's 00:14:23.760 --> 00:14:27.280 what to do when you're getting mixed advice from people. 00:14:27.280 --> 00:14:31.760 And last one, talking about, you know, living with past mistakes in 00:14:31.760 --> 00:14:35.600 episode 30 against the clockwork universe, we talk about some of the 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:40.160 damage that's done by sexual promiscuity, particularly against girls. 00:14:40.160 --> 00:14:42.640 So those are all subjects we're not going to get into today 00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:44.400 because they're dealt with previously. 00:14:44.400 --> 00:14:47.840 Today we're going to try to give some concrete specific advice. 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:51.760 Again, we're older guys, I'm divorced, Corey's single. 00:14:51.760 --> 00:14:54.320 If you think that makes us retarded and not worth listening to, 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:57.760 okay, I'm not gonna argue with you. 00:14:57.760 --> 00:14:59.200 We have made mistakes. 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:01.440 If we tell you things that are gonna cause you to repeat 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.800 our mistakes, that would be malicious and foolhardy. 00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:08.000 Guys who screwed things up can also give you at least some 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:11.280 narrow advice about here's how not to make the same mistake same 00:15:11.280 --> 00:15:13.040 mistakes that I did. 00:15:13.040 --> 00:15:16.960 Neither of us are fathers, so I am really uncomfortable with the 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.280 notion of giving any fatherly advice. 00:15:19.280 --> 00:15:23.600 So as I mentioned, the secondary audience for this episode is fathers. 00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:26.080 I'm not gonna give you father to father advice because I I 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:27.360 have I'm not a dad. 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:30.320 I I have no skin in the game in terms of making 00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:32.560 mistakes and screwing up kids. 00:15:32.560 --> 00:15:35.280 What I can do is tell you what some of these younger 00:15:35.280 --> 00:15:38.240 guys are facing, and then you as a father of a son 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:42.000 or a daughter will have to figure out amongst yourselves how do 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:46.000 I prevent my children from going down a path that's going to 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.960 fall into some of these traps or cause some of these problems 00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:49.920 for others. 00:15:49.920 --> 00:15:52.880 So we're gonna try to stay in our line. 00:15:52.880 --> 00:15:53.760 That's important to me. 00:15:53.760 --> 00:15:57.600 I don't wanna we're not know it all despite the way we 00:15:57.760 --> 00:15:59.680 sometimes come across. 00:15:59.680 --> 00:16:01.680 We try to stick to what we know and what we can 00:16:01.680 --> 00:16:03.040 speak to faithfully. 00:16:03.040 --> 00:16:05.440 There'll be a lot of scripture in this, and it's also just 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:07.200 gonna be a lot of of straight advice. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:09.440 But I I hope that this episode, which you know, I've got 00:16:09.520 --> 00:16:11.600 you know fifteen minutes into an introduction. 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:14.160 I hope the young guys who are listening will come away from 00:16:14.160 --> 00:16:18.720 this having a little bit more confidence in having some idea of 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:21.840 what they can avoid and what they should try to do, but 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:24.720 ultimately knowing that we have to trust in God for all this 00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:27.600 stuff. Because you don't know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow, forget 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:28.960 whether you're gonna find a wife. 00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:30.800 You don't know if the sun's gonna come up tomorrow. 00:16:30.800 --> 00:16:33.200 You don't know if your heart's gonna beat tomorrow. 00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:36.240 You trust in God to deliver on his promises and he'll take 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:37.760 care of the rest. 00:16:37.760 --> 00:16:40.880 And so for all the advice that you'll ever get from anyone, 00:16:40.880 --> 00:16:42.880 that is what you have to have your confidence in. 00:16:42.880 --> 00:16:47.360 Having confidence rooted in God makes it possible to engage boldly in 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:50.800 the world without feeling like you have to get everything just right. 00:16:50.800 --> 00:16:53.600 Because if the onus is always on you to get everything just 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:55.280 right, you know that's hopeless. 00:16:55.280 --> 00:16:58.000 That that's a that's a well that no one can dig himself 00:16:58.000 --> 00:16:58.720 out of. 00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:01.440 If you trust in God and know that obeying him will be 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:04.320 fruitful That's half the battle. 00:17:04.320 --> 00:17:07.200 And the rest of it is prayer and doing the time and 00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:10.880 putting in the work and waiting for God to deliver. 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:15.040 And in the meantime, living your life as a man. 00:17:15.040 --> 00:17:15.200 So 00:17:15.280 --> 00:17:19.600 to start off the episode proper, we should probably go over some 00:17:19.600 --> 00:17:24.960 of the reasons that young men in particular have it so hard 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:30.240 today, why there's so many problems for young men specifically. 00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:35.360 And part of this is we'll start with the dating market, as 00:17:35.360 --> 00:17:39.520 it were, with the marriage market. 00:17:39.520 --> 00:17:44.240 Given the current set of incentives and the way that our society 00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:48.800 is structured, it is structured against most men. 00:17:48.800 --> 00:17:54.640 Yes, there is that top percentage to kind of abuse the terms, 00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:54.960 but 00:17:56.080 --> 00:18:01.280 they're the men who are very successful in the current market, and 00:18:01.280 --> 00:18:03.520 that is a tiny percentage of men. 00:18:03.520 --> 00:18:06.640 And the reason for that is very simple. 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:08.320 Women want to have to have 00:18:09.520 --> 00:18:16.240 to some degree security and to some degree stability. 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.520 But there is another aspect to their nature, we went over this 00:18:19.520 --> 00:18:22.640 somewhat in previous episodes. 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:28.480 But if the opportunity is there, women are going to go after 00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:31.520 some of these higher status men. 00:18:31.520 --> 00:18:37.440 And the reason they'll do that under the current circumstances is because 00:18:37.600 --> 00:18:41.280 our society and particularly our government has been designed in order to 00:18:41.280 --> 00:18:46.320 encourage that, because the goal is to delay or to Or to 00:18:46.320 --> 00:18:49.600 destroy family formation, we live under an evil government. 00:18:49.600 --> 00:18:57.440 We've covered that previously, and proved that point, insofar as we're concerned. 00:18:57.440 --> 00:19:02.480 But traditionally, it is the father and then the husband who provides 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:06.240 that stable environment for a woman where she is safe and can 00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:07.760 raise a family. 00:19:07.760 --> 00:19:09.520 That is the natural order of things. 00:19:09.520 --> 00:19:12.160 That is how things are supposed to go. 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:17.440 Well, today, the government has stepped in to a certain degree to 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:20.800 act as the husband for single women. 00:19:20.800 --> 00:19:26.000 And so the necessity of forming that family bond, of maintaining a 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:31.120 family bond, first with regard to the father being the most natural 00:19:31.120 --> 00:19:35.840 family bond, because he's your father if you're his daughter, and then 00:19:36.080 --> 00:19:40.720 with your husband, with whom you will form your own family, the 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:44.640 government has stepped in to a certain degree and said, No, if 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:46.880 you are living alone, that's fine. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:50.240 We have all of these social services, we have these 00:19:51.520 --> 00:19:55.200 various programs of which you can take advantage, etc., etc. 00:19:55.840 --> 00:20:00.000 This creates a perverse set of incentives, and that is deliberate. 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.800 Because on the one hand, it maintains women as part of the 00:20:04.800 --> 00:20:09.920 working class, so it it is beneficial in terms of capitalism, in 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:12.640 terms of the market, you have more workers, you can drive down 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:14.240 wages, etc. 00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:19.280 But more importantly, and this is obviously Satan's overarching goal, it makes 00:20:19.280 --> 00:20:23.360 it incredibly difficult to form families. 00:20:23.360 --> 00:20:27.440 Because women when they are younger and more vulnerable and more easily 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:29.600 misled, and that's obviously just true. 00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:34.400 Yes, men when they're younger are also more easily misled, but women 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:37.040 are more easily misled than men. 00:20:37.040 --> 00:20:38.240 That's in scripture. 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:42.560 That's just the way God made men and women. 00:20:42.560 --> 00:20:47.440 But women, when they are young and easily misled, they can be 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:52.160 told by the culture, by the state, No, you should take advantage 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:55.280 of your youth and you should do these things that you really 00:20:55.280 --> 00:20:56.240 shouldn't do. 00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:00.080 But the problem is by the time they realize the error they 00:21:00.080 --> 00:21:04.720 have made, well they're now in their mid thirties, or their forties. 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:08.560 Women have a biological clock that men really do not. 00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:10.480 Yes, men have one to a certain degree. 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:13.600 If you have your first child when you're sixty, you're going to 00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:15.920 have a lot of problems that you would not have if you 00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:18.720 had had your first child when you were thirty. 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:22.720 So for men, yes, you can marry later, you can have children 00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:23.200 later. 00:21:24.320 --> 00:21:26.480 You shouldn't do it too late. 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:28.640 But for women that's not an option. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:30.720 Because women have a fertility window. 00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:34.080 There's only a set number of years, fifteen, twenty years, depending on 00:21:34.080 --> 00:21:37.920 the woman, wherein you can actually have children. 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:42.320 All Satan has to do is get women to squander that period, 00:21:42.320 --> 00:21:43.840 and he's one. 00:21:43.840 --> 00:21:46.160 Because that destroys family formation. 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:50.400 It destroys the next generation, and as we've covered in previous episodes, 00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:53.520 that is primarily how Christendom propagates. 00:21:53.520 --> 00:21:58.960 It propagates from father to son, from father to daughter, from father 00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:02.320 to his children, because he is the head of the household, he 00:22:02.320 --> 00:22:04.080 is the head of his children, he is the head of his 00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:10.240 wife as well, and he instills in them the Christian faith. 00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:15.840 Christianity is not primarily a matter of going out and proselytizing and 00:22:15.840 --> 00:22:17.360 bringing in new converts. 00:22:17.360 --> 00:22:20.400 Yes, that's part of it, and at certain points in history that 00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:22.800 has been a more important part of it. 00:22:22.800 --> 00:22:25.040 But that was not God's design. 00:22:25.040 --> 00:22:29.840 God's original design was that Adam would teach his sons and daughters, 00:22:29.840 --> 00:22:32.800 and then his sons and daughters would teach their sons and daughters 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.400 in perpetuity. 00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:39.200 And that is how it was in Christendom, once Christianity returned to 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:39.440 Europe 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:45.120 for a thousand years, for more than a thousand years. 00:22:45.120 --> 00:22:49.680 It is only today that that has fallen away because we're quite 00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:54.400 frankly just having fewer children, and these are the reasons that's happening. 00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:58.320 But now to speak directly to fathers, now we're not going to 00:22:58.320 --> 00:23:02.720 give, as we said, specific parenting advice, although I'm a little more 00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:04.000 comfortable giving some. 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.760 I've done a fair amount of work in psychology. 00:23:07.760 --> 00:23:10.800 I know some will think that that's probably the antithesis of knowing 00:23:10.800 --> 00:23:13.120 how to deal with children, but it depends on what you read 00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:15.440 and which conclusions you draw. 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:19.200 But to give some actual concrete advice for fathers, this is the 00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:21.760 same advice we've been giving all along. 00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:25.120 Do not send your daughters to college. 00:23:25.120 --> 00:23:28.960 Period. That's a blanket recommendation. 00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:33.760 And the reason not to do that is very simple. 00:23:33.760 --> 00:23:37.680 The odds are that she is going to do extremely unwise things 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:42.080 while she is away from your roof. 00:23:42.080 --> 00:23:45.360 And this is not a matter of trusting your daughter or not 00:23:45.360 --> 00:23:47.040 trusting your daughter. 00:23:47.040 --> 00:23:49.360 This is a matter of being a father. 00:23:49.360 --> 00:23:52.960 Realizing that God has given you a position of headship. 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:58.320 It is your duty to oversee what she does You cannot do 00:23:58.320 --> 00:24:00.640 that when she's away at college. 00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.880 And so what is she when she's away at college? 00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:05.200 She's headless. 00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:08.400 Headless things do not make good decisions. 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:12.560 That is simply the nature of reality. 00:24:12.560 --> 00:24:15.200 And so a verse should come to mind. 00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:20.080 Leviticus, do not profane your daughter by making her a prostitute, lest 00:24:20.080 --> 00:24:24.480 the land fall into prostitution, and the land become full of depravity. 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:27.760 When you send your daughter away to college, and I do mean 00:24:27.760 --> 00:24:31.680 emphasis on away because it is particularly a problem when you send 00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:34.160 her away to college, a residential college. 00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:36.640 There's a difference if she takes a few classes at a community 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:39.360 college, comes home at night, lives under your roof. 00:24:39.360 --> 00:24:43.520 But if you send her away to a residential college, you are 00:24:43.520 --> 00:24:46.320 effectively telling her go be a prostitute. 00:24:46.320 --> 00:24:47.600 Now she may not. 00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:50.320 You may win the odds. 00:24:50.320 --> 00:24:52.320 But don't play those odds. 00:24:52.320 --> 00:24:55.120 God did not call you to roll the dice when it comes 00:24:55.120 --> 00:24:56.080 to your children. 00:24:56.080 --> 00:24:58.160 You are called to be a father and a head, you are 00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.560 called to raise them correctly. 00:25:00.560 --> 00:25:03.760 And this is part of the reason that young men are having 00:25:03.760 --> 00:25:08.640 such a hard time finding marriageable women, because once a woman has 00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:10.000 gone to college 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:16.160 and been promiscuous, in many cases she is no longer fit to 00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:17.360 be a wife. 00:25:17.360 --> 00:25:20.640 Because as we went over in previous episodes, there are very real 00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:23.200 consequences to that behavior. 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:26.560 And becoming a Christian again if you apostatized while you were in 00:25:26.560 --> 00:25:30.320 college and you come back to Christ, becoming a Christian again does 00:25:30.320 --> 00:25:33.520 not remove those temporal consequences. 00:25:33.520 --> 00:25:38.000 It removes the eternal consequences, so you don't necessarily go to hell 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.120 because you were a whore in undergrad. 00:25:41.120 --> 00:25:43.680 But there are very real consequences. 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.640 You won't be able to pair bond as well, if at all. 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:49.200 You will have children that will have genetic issues that they would 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:51.680 not otherwise have had, etc, etc. 00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:55.840 There are many problems attendant that and so And so we recognize 00:25:56.080 --> 00:26:00.080 these are the problems that young men are facing, because they're facing 00:26:00.080 --> 00:26:04.720 a marriage market in which there are many women who are simply 00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:07.520 not marriageable anymore. 00:26:07.520 --> 00:26:10.800 And so one of the recommendations that we would make for the 00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:15.280 young men out there don't look for women at college. 00:26:15.280 --> 00:26:18.240 That's not going to be a good place to find them. 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.760 Look for a woman who has a good enough relationship with her 00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:25.680 father that she didn't go to college, that her father knew to 00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:29.440 recommend to her that that was not a wise decision, really ever, 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.000 but particularly under present circumstances. 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.320 There are many places where you can find 00:26:35.360 --> 00:26:37.840 women who are marriage material. 00:26:37.840 --> 00:26:39.040 They still exist. 00:26:39.040 --> 00:26:42.000 You may be, to speak directly to the young men, you may 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:45.680 be discouraged because of what you've seen of the world, and to 00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:48.080 some degree that's rational. 00:26:48.080 --> 00:26:51.040 The world has a lot of problems right now. 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:53.520 And women, you need to understand the nature of women. 00:26:53.520 --> 00:26:57.760 Women are going to reflect the society more directly than men are. 00:26:57.760 --> 00:27:01.440 Because Because that is how God made women. 00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:05.840 Women start to become like and to reflect their head, and a 00:27:05.840 --> 00:27:09.360 woman who is not living under her father's roof or her husband's 00:27:09.360 --> 00:27:12.480 roof is going to reflect her head, and her head is going 00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:14.240 to be the state. 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:18.400 She is going to reflect the current state of society. 00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:20.880 And that is what we see today. 00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:21.120 And 00:27:21.120 --> 00:27:24.640 I'm sure that there are a lot of guys listening right now, 00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:28.320 particularly fathers who are thinking, well, I know about a good Christian 00:27:28.320 --> 00:27:30.480 college where that's not gonna happen. 00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:33.040 BS. It's a matter of degrees. 00:27:33.040 --> 00:27:35.200 And this is part of the reason why I said at the 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:39.360 beginning, your knowledge of college is utterly worthless. 00:27:39.360 --> 00:27:40.640 It's completely worthless. 00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:43.840 You think you know something about college, you know nothing. 00:27:43.840 --> 00:27:45.520 You are completely ignorant. 00:27:45.520 --> 00:27:48.560 And anything that you would ever say to a man fifteen, twenty 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:51.280 years younger than you is garbage. 00:27:51.280 --> 00:27:54.000 Don't even think about doing it because you're wrong. 00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:58.320 The degree of depravity in these places I don't know the frequency 00:27:58.320 --> 00:27:59.440 with which it's doubling. 00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:01.520 It's certainly more than every five years. 00:28:01.520 --> 00:28:04.480 But the notion that someone who was in college twenty-five, thirty years 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:08.640 ago has a clue what's going on today is it's wicked. 00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:12.000 You should I'm telling you right now, don't tell anyone, oh no, 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:12.880 it's gonna be fine. 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.040 And I include the Christian colleges in that. 00:28:15.040 --> 00:28:18.080 Three things will happen if you send girls off to college. 00:28:18.080 --> 00:28:22.240 They will become whores, they will become witches, and they will apostatize. 00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:25.040 I know that sounds completely overblown and over the top, I'm sure 00:28:25.040 --> 00:28:26.880 some of you are just laughing at me right now. 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:28.800 By degrees all those things will happen. 00:28:28.800 --> 00:28:32.480 Because as Corey said, girls need a head. 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:35.840 We talked about, I think, in the feminism episode about the fact 00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:40.400 that the marriage ceremony where the father gives his daughter's hand to 00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:45.040 the groom, not only is it a transfer of title, it's a 00:28:45.040 --> 00:28:46.800 transfer of headship. 00:28:46.800 --> 00:28:50.240 It is saying the father who was the head of this girl 00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:54.400 is now making this man her head. 00:28:54.400 --> 00:28:56.160 She has to have a head. 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:59.360 When you send her away, she doesn't have a head. 00:28:59.360 --> 00:29:02.480 I don't want to abuse the term literally, but this is more 00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:03.920 than a metaphor here. 00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:08.800 This is a functional, spiritual, real thing, and there's no workaround. 00:29:08.800 --> 00:29:12.000 And there is no in loco parentis when you have a Christian 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:15.360 college. Because I'll tell you what, the people who are teaching in 00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:18.640 those places have all themselves all gone to colleges that are being 00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:26.080 corrupted. All the things you hear people complaining about politically, socioeconomically, sociopolitically, 00:29:26.080 --> 00:29:30.240 any way you want to cut it, the institutions for learning are 00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:33.360 diseased. Frankly, the very fact that there would be a co ed 00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:36.240 college is by itself a itself an indication that you're dealing with 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:37.600 a wicked place. 00:29:37.600 --> 00:29:40.720 You would never, ever in a million years throw a bunch of 00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:43.840 horny teenage boys and girls in one place and think, oh they're 00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:45.120 fine, I catechized them. 00:29:45.120 --> 00:29:46.880 They'll turn out just fine. 00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:48.160 That's insane. 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:51.680 That is being the worst possible father. 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:52.000 So 00:29:53.520 --> 00:29:57.360 again, we're saying stuff that seems extreme and it seems absurd. 00:29:57.360 --> 00:29:59.600 I'm I'll put my credibility on the line. 00:29:59.600 --> 00:30:02.000 It is not we're not going far enough. 00:30:02.320 --> 00:30:05.040 We're not gonna describe the things that we know are going on 00:30:05.280 --> 00:30:08.240 because we'd have to put an explicit warning on this thing. 00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:10.160 And some of you would probably just turn it off and never 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:11.040 listen again. 00:30:11.040 --> 00:30:14.880 I the stories about what happens are unconscionable. 00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:19.040 They they're they're worse than anything that we have until you go 00:30:19.040 --> 00:30:23.600 back to the the dawn of recorded history and talking about Greek 00:30:23.600 --> 00:30:30.080 and Roman level pagan practices that today are cultural. 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:30.960 they're normal. 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:32.640 They're things that go on. 00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:35.600 And witchcraft, same deal. 00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:39.440 I went girls, you know, the the the notion of spiritual but 00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:45.600 not religious, that is basically the expression of how girls view religion. 00:30:45.600 --> 00:30:49.200 A girl without a head saying, You are going to be Christian, 00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:50.480 she may hang on for a time. 00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.360 I'm not saying that they're not capable of having faith or maintaining 00:30:53.360 --> 00:30:55.920 faith. I'm saying that their faith will be put to the test 00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:59.120 in a way that men can't understand. 00:30:59.120 --> 00:31:00.320 We don't have 00:31:01.600 --> 00:31:05.600 the social necessity to get our bearings from bearings from other people. 00:31:05.600 --> 00:31:07.440 That's not the case with girls. 00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:10.720 They fundamentally get their bearings from what the group is doing. 00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:14.960 And so when the group is influenced by any degree by something 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:18.320 negative, it's naturally going to nudge a girl much more than a 00:31:18.320 --> 00:31:21.520 guy. Now, obviously we all know the guys can fall into peer 00:31:21.520 --> 00:31:25.840 pressure, but it's much more of a binary decision. 00:31:25.840 --> 00:31:29.040 Guys say do something stupid and other guys say, Yeah, that sounds 00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:31.120 like a good idea, or I'll take that dare. 00:31:31.120 --> 00:31:33.920 Or they just say no, I want no part of this scene. 00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:37.120 Guys can make that sort of a decision and walk away from 00:31:37.120 --> 00:31:40.000 a group, or just tell the group, I'm not I want nothing 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:40.720 to do with this. 00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:44.240 If you guys are gonna do this, I'm gonna I'm gonna bounce. 00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:47.440 Girls virtually never have that kind of fortitude. 00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:49.920 And it's it's endemic to their nature. 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:52.000 It's not a question of weak character. 00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:54.400 I'm not trying to suggest if you have a really tough girl, 00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:56.000 she's gonna be fine. 00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.280 We're fundamentally different. 00:31:57.280 --> 00:31:58.480 The sexes are different. 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:02.800 the couple episodes we did on women is specifically dealing with the 00:32:02.800 --> 00:32:05.440 fact that we're not the same stuff. 00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:09.440 And so the problems that girls will face are in some ways 00:32:09.520 --> 00:32:12.960 fundamentally different from the problems that men will face. 00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:16.400 And for the young guys, as Corey said, who are looking for 00:32:16.560 --> 00:32:21.280 marriageable material, you know, forget whether she's attractive or, you know, whatever 00:32:21.280 --> 00:32:25.280 degree of intelligence you find appealing. 00:32:25.360 --> 00:32:28.080 Something that we mentioned before that that blew up online a few 00:32:28.080 --> 00:32:32.800 years ago was a controversy around debt free virgins without tattoos. 00:32:32.800 --> 00:32:36.080 Debt free means she doesn't have a negative dowry. 00:32:36.080 --> 00:32:39.280 If you send her off to college, you're almost certainly putting her 00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:40.000 in debt. 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:43.120 That debt is functionally a negative dowry. 00:32:43.120 --> 00:32:46.880 You're saying to her husband, he's going her future husband, you're gonna 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:50.080 have to pay off this five or six figure debt before you 00:32:50.080 --> 00:32:53.280 can even break even on taking my daughter out from under my 00:32:53.280 --> 00:32:56.000 wing. And guys do that without a second thought. 00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:56.880 That's evil. 00:32:56.880 --> 00:32:58.160 That's completely evil. 00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:02.800 A negative dowry is the most maniacal thing imaginable, apart from the 00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:06.240 rest. Forget the sexual promiscuity or any of the rest. 00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:09.440 Just saddling her with debt so that what so that she can 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:13.520 go learn something that's probably useless in most cases. 00:33:13.520 --> 00:33:16.720 I mean, when you look at the degrees that girls are completing 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:19.840 relative to men, it's mostly blow off garbage. 00:33:19.840 --> 00:33:23.680 It it's just stuff that shouldn't even be higher education. 00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:25.200 it's a joke. 00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:28.960 And yet they are gonna s getting saddled with d debt that 00:33:29.120 --> 00:33:34.240 is not dischargeable in bankruptcy is going to completely disrupt future family 00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:38.080 formation. And any guy with any sense, and this is the advice 00:33:38.080 --> 00:33:41.920 to young men, think like Think long and hard about even dating 00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:44.240 a girl who has much college debt. 00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:47.120 You know, if it's five thousand, ten thousand, that's one thing. 00:33:47.120 --> 00:33:48.320 It's usually not. 00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:50.880 It's usually closer to six figures. 00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:53.280 So you should write them off. 00:33:53.280 --> 00:33:55.760 I'll say flat out and I think Cory agrees you should write 00:33:55.760 --> 00:33:58.800 a girl off if she's six figures in debt without hesitation. 00:33:58.800 --> 00:34:02.800 Because Cory said, she has an idiot father, she has clearly no 00:34:02.800 --> 00:34:05.760 judgment, and she has a boat anchor around her neck. 00:34:05.760 --> 00:34:08.080 And you want to attach that to your future family? 00:34:08.080 --> 00:34:10.800 No. You have a choice as young man. 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:13.040 You're trying to filter and winnow things down. 00:34:13.040 --> 00:34:15.120 That's an easy place to start. 00:34:15.120 --> 00:34:17.840 Virgins, we talked about that in past episodes. 00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:20.160 That's it's virtually a lost cause. 00:34:20.160 --> 00:34:22.880 And frankly, one of the things that goes into 00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:27.600 a young man trying to find a girl who has has been 00:34:27.600 --> 00:34:31.360 sexually chased is she's gonna have to be younger in a lot 00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:32.160 of cases. 00:34:32.160 --> 00:34:35.120 So we'll talk in a little bit about talking to fathers instead 00:34:35.120 --> 00:34:38.000 of talking to daughters to meet their daughters. 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:38.320 I 00:34:40.080 --> 00:34:44.880 and we referenced the episode around you know job boards at church. 00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:48.320 I think we're gonna need to see arranged marriages come back for 00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:49.440 a while. 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:54.160 Now, on the subject of younger marriages and disparate marriages, guys who 00:34:54.160 --> 00:34:58.560 are knowledgeable about particularly American history will know that in the sixteenth, 00:34:58.560 --> 00:35:02.640 seventeen, eighteen hundreds, I think marriages were typically in like twenty two, 00:35:02.640 --> 00:35:06.160 twenty three, twenty four range, depending on the culture and whatever. 00:35:06.160 --> 00:35:09.360 Those were fundamentally Christian cultures where the girls were living under their 00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:10.160 parents' roof. 00:35:10.160 --> 00:35:13.600 So you cannot compare it to today because the single number of 00:35:13.600 --> 00:35:18.880 age is not communicating the same thing in 2023 that it communicated 00:35:18.880 --> 00:35:20.400 in 1723. 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:22.640 It's just not. 00:35:22.640 --> 00:35:28.160 The 16-year-old girl, the 18-year old girl, the 23 year old girl, 00:35:28.160 --> 00:35:31.200 that is the march of time where they have been under continuous 00:35:31.200 --> 00:35:35.680 influence from a wicked society, encouraging them to give up their virginity 00:35:35.680 --> 00:35:41.680 and then to go further and further and further in frequency, depravity, 00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:42.000 and 00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:46.320 profligacy of their sexual misconduct. 00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:50.160 And they'll do it because it's fun and everyone else is doing 00:35:50.160 --> 00:35:52.080 it and again they want to fit in. 00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:53.520 Who wants to be a prude? 00:35:53.520 --> 00:35:55.840 Who wants to be the girl who's on the outs with the 00:35:55.840 --> 00:36:00.880 group? And even in a Christian college, this stuff still happens. 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.680 Maybe parents don't hear about it, but I promise you I've heard 00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:04.160 about it. 00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:08.320 I've heard names of children of pastors doing this stuff. 00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:10.240 I'm it's not the point. 00:36:10.240 --> 00:36:12.960 The point is you can't just trust but you baptize the kid 00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:17.120 and catechise them that they're not going to misbehave when they get 00:36:17.120 --> 00:36:19.680 away from you. 00:36:19.680 --> 00:36:21.120 So what do we do? 00:36:21.120 --> 00:36:22.000 Simple thing. 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:23.440 Don't send her to college. 00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:25.040 Don't sell her with debt. 00:36:25.040 --> 00:36:28.720 Don't give her into an environment where she's likely to engage in 00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:30.960 age and sexual promiscuity. 00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:34.080 And for young men, you know, one of the things that as 00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:36.880 I said, Corey and I talk a lot to to younger guys, 00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:40.880 you know, in the 18, 22, 23 range, all the time. 00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:42.640 And most of them are 00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:46.400 trying not to despair about this stuff. 00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:49.360 You know, they they they have a stiff upper lip and they're 00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:52.640 trying to do the right things and they are trying to trust 00:36:52.640 --> 00:36:53.200 in God. 00:36:53.200 --> 00:36:55.280 And one of the reasons that we're doing this episode is to 00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:56.720 encourage that. 00:36:56.720 --> 00:36:59.280 And also to encourage the guys who are not, they're just not 00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:00.000 seeing it. 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:02.240 They're not seeing any hope. 00:37:02.240 --> 00:37:05.600 For fathers with daughters, these guys exist. 00:37:05.600 --> 00:37:10.080 And if you have a sixteen, seventeen, eighteen-year-old daughter who is looking 00:37:10.080 --> 00:37:12.720 at going off to college, not only don't send her off to 00:37:12.720 --> 00:37:17.120 college, but at least have open in your mind the prospect that 00:37:17.120 --> 00:37:18.880 maybe you should be a participant. 00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:19.600 Not completely. 00:37:19.600 --> 00:37:20.160 I'm not saying 00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:24.960 we're not suggesting I'm going to hand a man to a girl 00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.320 and say, here you go, this is this is a 100% arranged 00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:33.760 marriage. We're saying that matchmaking historically was a family function. 00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.280 It was a parental function. 00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:38.080 It wasn't it wasn't a social thing where you just send these 00:37:38.080 --> 00:37:44.080 headless kids off when they're at their maximum sexual energy and desire 00:37:44.240 --> 00:37:49.280 and minimum ability ability to c comprehend or appreciate future consequences for 00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:52.880 their actions where they don't have impulse control to the degree that 00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:54.880 they will when they're ten years older. 00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:57.280 You don't send them off and then expect everything to work out 00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:59.360 hunky dory. 00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:03.760 So So, fathers, if you're listening, at least consider 00:38:05.040 --> 00:38:06.400 working so somehow. 00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:08.800 And again, I we don't know how that's going to manifest. 00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:12.000 Just we want people to begin thinking about just like job boards 00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:12.800 in churches. 00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:18.320 You should be thinking about finding pairs for your sons and daughters. 00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:22.320 You know, uh the ideal best case for some sort of you 00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:25.120 know, arranged marriage sounds so formal. 00:38:25.120 --> 00:38:28.960 It's really more about the introduction and encouragement. 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:29.840 You know, when 00:38:30.720 --> 00:38:36.160 every child has two choices, they're basically four for permutations. 00:38:36.160 --> 00:38:40.800 Either you have good parents and you obey them or you rebel. 00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:44.400 Or you have bad parents and you obey them in being bad. 00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.560 Or you rebel and act good. 00:38:46.560 --> 00:38:50.240 So there are two good outcomes and there are two bad outcomes. 00:38:50.240 --> 00:38:53.120 And they're reversed depending on the quality of parent you have. 00:38:53.120 --> 00:38:57.120 If you're a good parent, you want to encourage good behavior in 00:38:57.120 --> 00:38:58.480 your sons and daughters. 00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:01.680 And some of that's going to be supporting them, not just setting 00:39:01.680 --> 00:39:04.480 them loose, not just saying, yeah, good luck, get out of here. 00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:07.200 You know, I put up with you for 18 years, gonna pay 00:39:07.200 --> 00:39:10.080 off some of your debt for college and then I'm gonna go 00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:13.600 buy a boat and focus on spending more time on vacation. 00:39:13.600 --> 00:39:16.400 That's what the boomers did to a lot of people. 00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:18.640 That's the model that we've inherited. 00:39:18.640 --> 00:39:20.880 And part of the generations episode is talking about the fact that 00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.560 there are no good models for this stuff. 00:39:22.560 --> 00:39:25.840 So when Cory and I talk about things like even mentioning arranged 00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:29.520 marriages and not sending kids off not s especially sending girls, I 00:39:29.520 --> 00:39:30.800 don't think anyone should go to college. 00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:33.600 I think no more than fifteen percent of the male population should 00:39:33.600 --> 00:39:35.040 ever set foot in college. 00:39:35.040 --> 00:39:38.560 And today I think should drop to zero for probably a generation, 00:39:38.560 --> 00:39:42.320 at least until those places no longer exist and we've started from 00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:49.120 scratch. Either way, there's no model for what we're encouraging because the 00:39:49.120 --> 00:39:52.080 world is so evil and so far gone that of course you're 00:39:52.080 --> 00:39:53.520 not going to find a model for this stuff. 00:39:53.520 --> 00:39:57.120 So it's going to sound crazy and weird, and crazy and weird 00:39:57.200 --> 00:40:00.000 everyone thinks well that's impractical, that can't possibly work. 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.000 Well, it worked for centuries. 00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:04.560 it worked for most of human history. 00:40:04.560 --> 00:40:06.320 It didn't stop working. 00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.760 We stopped doing it. 00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:09.520 And that's the distinction here. 00:40:09.520 --> 00:40:12.240 It's not that these things that we used to do quit working 00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:17.040 and we somehow evolved into a more erudite society. 00:40:17.040 --> 00:40:18.560 It's we just quit trying. 00:40:18.560 --> 00:40:19.360 We quit caring. 00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:20.480 Parents quit caring. 00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:23.680 They started setting their kids free, and now we're living in the 00:40:23.680 --> 00:40:25.840 ashes of those poor decisions. 00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:29.120 Trying to sweep up these ashes and build something again is going 00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:32.800 to involve at least for maybe a generation or two, doing some 00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:34.720 stuff that we haven't done in a long time. 00:40:34.720 --> 00:40:37.520 And so I'm very encouraged that I I know there's some young 00:40:37.520 --> 00:40:41.120 men who are listening to this who've specifically talked to fathers and 00:40:41.120 --> 00:40:44.080 said, you know, I'd like to date your daughter or do you 00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:44.880 have any daughters? 00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:49.040 Like that's it it it sounds like such a an antiquated, you 00:40:49.040 --> 00:40:50.080 know, kinda 00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:53.600 th there's no TV example for it unless you go back to 00:40:53.600 --> 00:40:56.480 the eighteen hundreds, like a cowboy story or something. 00:40:56.480 --> 00:41:01.680 It sounds absurd because the models were taken away from us. 00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:03.760 But it's an entirely salutary thing. 00:41:03.760 --> 00:41:07.520 It's not the only possible option, but in a world on fire, 00:41:07.520 --> 00:41:11.200 it's potentially an option that should certainly be explored. 00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:12.160 In 00:41:12.160 --> 00:41:16.400 a very real sense, many of these problems are a form of 00:41:16.400 --> 00:41:21.200 antinomianism. And I mean that in a specific way. 00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:24.400 What we are in essence doing is ignoring nature. 00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:28.960 We're saying, well, we're Christian Christian and so these problems that are 00:41:28.960 --> 00:41:33.280 inherent in human nature are no longer a problem for us because 00:41:33.280 --> 00:41:34.720 we're Christian. 00:41:34.720 --> 00:41:36.320 And that's not true. 00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:40.880 It's not true in the sense of nature as God intended it, 00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:43.920 and so when you become a Christian, you still have to eat 00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.040 and drink. 00:41:45.040 --> 00:41:47.680 You still get thirsty, you still get tired. 00:41:47.680 --> 00:41:52.080 You are still a creature, you are still an animal, in fact. 00:41:52.080 --> 00:41:57.280 And so these demands of your physical nature are not removed by 00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:59.200 faith. That would be insane. 00:41:59.200 --> 00:42:03.200 That is to say that would be to say that faith destroys 00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:05.280 ontology, that it destroys nature. 00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:07.120 It doesn't do that. 00:42:07.120 --> 00:42:11.600 Your if your theology destroys ontology, your theology is wrong. 00:42:11.600 --> 00:42:13.840 But then there's also the other sense 00:42:14.720 --> 00:42:15.040 where 00:42:16.160 --> 00:42:19.760 people are rejecting the fact that we live in a fallen world. 00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:22.880 They're saying, if you become Christian, then it doesn't matter that you 00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:24.320 live in a fallen world. 00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:26.720 No, it still matters very much. 00:42:26.720 --> 00:42:29.840 Because there are still temptations, there are still problems, you will still 00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:33.520 encounter these things in your daily life because you live in a 00:42:33.520 --> 00:42:36.400 fallen world and you are still fallen. 00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:41.760 And so yes, your daughter may be a very good person. 00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:45.120 She may be able to recite the entire catechism. 00:42:45.120 --> 00:42:45.440 She knows 00:42:47.120 --> 00:42:49.360 chunks of scripture by heart. 00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:53.120 She attends church every Sunday, she sings in the choir, all of 00:42:53.120 --> 00:42:54.320 these things. 00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:58.720 If you ignore the nature of women. 00:42:58.720 --> 00:43:02.080 You ignore the nature of girls, you ignore the fallen nature of 00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:04.720 humanity, and you send her off to a place where she is 00:43:04.720 --> 00:43:09.200 going to be surrounded by temptations and pressures. 00:43:09.200 --> 00:43:11.760 Odds are she'll eventually crack. 00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:14.080 And you are responsible for that. 00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:17.360 And as well mentioned, one of the first things that you can 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:22.000 notice about a supposed Christian college, if it's co ed, it's not 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.600 Christian. Period. 00:43:23.600 --> 00:43:24.800 That's the end of it. 00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:27.040 It may be Christian in many other ways. 00:43:27.040 --> 00:43:30.400 It may have a chapel, it may have required attendance. 00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:32.960 All these things that you see at Christian colleges, and for the 00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:36.400 record I went to one for one semester, but I did attend 00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:39.840 one. Just because it is Christian in name does not mean that 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:41.760 it is Christian in practice. 00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:46.560 If it's coed, it has already proven to you that it rejects 00:43:46.560 --> 00:43:50.960 the fallen nature of man, and seeks simply to ignore it, and 00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:56.240 by doing so creates immense occasion for temptation, and what does Scripture 00:43:56.240 --> 00:44:00.480 say about creating the occasion for temptation? 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:05.760 Temptation must come, but woe to those by whom it comes. 00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:10.480 Do not be the one upon whom Christ, upon whom the Word 00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:14.080 of God is pronouncing woe. 00:44:14.080 --> 00:44:19.120 And speaking of woe, he said that women who go away to 00:44:19.120 --> 00:44:24.000 college become whores, witches, and apostates. 00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:27.440 I want to focus on that for a second, because some, as 00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.960 he mentioned, may think that that's an extreme position, may think that 00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:34.560 that's unreasonable, they think of course they aren't going to do that. 00:44:34.560 --> 00:44:36.720 Well here's the problem. 00:44:36.720 --> 00:44:41.600 If they become whores, they necessarily, in our society, as it seems 00:44:41.600 --> 00:44:43.440 today, become the other two? 00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:44.720 And why is that? 00:44:44.720 --> 00:44:47.120 The answer is abortion. 00:44:47.120 --> 00:44:51.760 Now I have a short podcast episode on my own podcast that 00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:53.840 did about abortion, I'll link that in the show notes because it 00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:57.600 goes over this in more depth, but to go over it briefly 00:44:57.600 --> 00:45:04.160 here. You cannot have a society in which you have rampant promiscuity 00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:09.840 if pregnancy is still a very real, let's call it a risk, 00:45:09.840 --> 00:45:12.320 with every sexual encounter. 00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:16.800 Which, in the state of nature, without what we have to day 00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:19.360 various devices and chemicals and such 00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:22.400 That's just the way it is for women. 00:45:22.400 --> 00:45:26.560 Every sexual encounter risks pregnancy. 00:45:26.560 --> 00:45:30.240 That is, in fact, part of what keeps women chaste. 00:45:30.240 --> 00:45:33.280 It's that thing in the back of their mind telling them if 00:45:33.280 --> 00:45:37.600 you do this dumb thing, there may be very real consequences that 00:45:37.600 --> 00:45:40.000 you cannot hide. 00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:43.760 Historically, that has helped to keep women chaste, that has helped to 00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:47.280 keep marriages stable, that has helped to keep society stable. 00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:51.920 But But now we have prophylactics and we have so called birth 00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:57.280 control. The problem is hormonal birth control, which is the one that 00:45:57.280 --> 00:46:01.360 women primarily use, yes, it has a lot of negative environmental consequences 00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:03.200 and such. 00:46:03.200 --> 00:46:10.000 But that aside, hormonal birth control is abortifacient, because it works in 00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:12.000 several ways. 00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:15.840 The first way it works is by attempting to regulate the woman's 00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:19.520 cycle so that she will not be fertile except during a certain 00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:23.440 window so she can manage things and not get pregnant. 00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:29.280 The second is that it makes her vagina and her internal anatomy 00:46:29.520 --> 00:46:34.880 inhospitable to sperm, so less likely for fertilization to take place. 00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:38.880 But the third method, and this one is the most morally objectionable, 00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:42.480 the others are problematic in their own way, but to a lesser 00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:46.160 degree. The third method is that it makes the lining of the 00:46:46.160 --> 00:46:51.520 uterus inhospitable to the implantation of the zygote. 00:46:51.520 --> 00:46:55.280 Now for those who are far removed from biology, the zygote is 00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:58.240 just the fertilized embryo. 00:46:58.240 --> 00:47:03.120 That's a human life, according to Christian theology, which is to say 00:47:03.280 --> 00:47:06.160 it is a human life, because it is according to God. 00:47:06.080 --> 00:47:11.600 And so if you change the chemistry or the hormones, the way 00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:18.480 the uterine lining reacts with the zygote and cause implantation to fail, 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:20.320 you've just caused an abortion. 00:47:20.640 --> 00:47:22.160 That's murder. 00:47:22.160 --> 00:47:22.800 And so 00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:28.320 women who are on birth control and having sex are guilty of 00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:30.960 murder. And so are the men who are having sex with them 00:47:31.040 --> 00:47:35.440 incidentally. And so there's your problem. 00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:39.680 If the women go off to college and become whores, they are 00:47:39.680 --> 00:47:42.960 almost certainly going to be on birth control. 00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.120 Well now they're also murderesses 00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:49.520 which is to say witches, which is to say apostates. 00:47:49.520 --> 00:47:52.240 So that is not actually an extreme thing to say. 00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:56.320 That is just exactly what happens, if you actually follow through the 00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:58.240 logic of what is being done. 00:47:58.240 --> 00:47:59.520 And Satan knows this. 00:47:59.520 --> 00:48:02.320 Satan knows exactly what he's doing. 00:48:02.320 --> 00:48:05.680 Your daughters may not know it, and they probably don't, because their 00:48:05.680 --> 00:48:08.880 health class probably did not cover that very simple biology I just 00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:09.280 went over in 00:48:11.760 --> 00:48:14.880 But this is something people don't know. 00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:16.880 I actually just yesterday 00:48:18.160 --> 00:48:23.440 asked Chat GPT, the AI chat platform, just to see if it 00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:26.560 had been trained on this question, I asked it a handful of 00:48:26.560 --> 00:48:29.120 questions, a series of questions about abortion. 00:48:29.120 --> 00:48:33.360 Eventually I was able to get it to admit that hormonal birth 00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:37.760 control is abortifacient, but initially, it gave false answers, it had been 00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:38.960 trained to lie. 00:48:38.960 --> 00:48:43.040 Because of course it is a tool of the current ruling class 00:48:43.120 --> 00:48:45.440 of the order of our society. 00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:48.400 And so on these sorts of questions it's trained to lie to 00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:51.840 you. Well that's what your daughters are hearing in school, it's what 00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:53.520 your sons are hearing in school. 00:48:53.520 --> 00:48:58.240 If you ask most young people they will not know that birth 00:48:58.240 --> 00:49:00.080 control is abortifacient. 00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:03.760 They will not know that it is murder to use it at 00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:08.720 least murder to use it while you're sexually active. 00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:11.920 And so that is what they get introduced into, and so they 00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:15.840 become complicit in these heinous sins before they even know what they're 00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:18.000 doing. 00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:18.240 And 00:49:18.240 --> 00:49:23.280 the advice that's coming from doctors is not only false, but one 00:49:23.280 --> 00:49:26.080 of the worst things that's happening on the secondary effects of the 00:49:26.240 --> 00:49:30.400 of the pill is that doctors are encouraging usually mothers because it's 00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:34.400 not the husband or the father who's taking his daughter for a 00:49:34.560 --> 00:49:37.840 gynecological checkup after she's had her first period. 00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:40.560 The gyno will say, Oh, you need to get on birth control, 00:49:40.560 --> 00:49:42.560 it'll help regulate your flow. 00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:45.360 You're gonna have much more comfortable periods. 00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:47.520 It's gonna just make your life a whole lot better. 00:49:47.520 --> 00:49:50.320 So from the age of twelve or thirteen or maybe even younger, 00:49:50.320 --> 00:49:54.480 many, many, many girls are being put on these drugs that alter 00:49:54.480 --> 00:49:56.720 your body in some ways permanently. 00:49:56.720 --> 00:50:00.400 Because it effectively tricks the young girl's body into thinking she's been 00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:03.360 pregnant. And so you go on the pill when you're thirteen and 00:50:03.360 --> 00:50:06.480 you don't go off the pill until you're till you're thirty-three, guess 00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:11.040 what? Not only has your fertility plummeted by virtue of your age, 00:50:11.040 --> 00:50:16.480 but it's also been decimated by your body's hormones being tricked into 00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:20.960 a condition that wouldn't results in provable harm. 00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:25.120 And so, again, since we're trying to focus primarily on advice to 00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:29.280 young men, young men, one of the things that you should look 00:50:29.280 --> 00:50:32.480 for, I'm not going to say it's an absolute no, but 00:50:34.400 --> 00:50:38.640 best case, you would have a wife who had never been on 00:50:38.640 --> 00:50:39.920 birth control. 00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:42.560 As I said, like so many doctors are saying that now, that's 00:50:42.560 --> 00:50:45.360 like it may be close to finding a unicorn. 00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:48.800 If she's an adult, like if she's eighteen, if she's d a 00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:51.120 young adult, she shouldn't be. 00:50:51.120 --> 00:50:55.600 Like because Corey said that then goes not only to the false 00:50:55.600 --> 00:50:59.120 promises that they're making about your period, but they go to the 00:50:59.120 --> 00:51:04.480 direct promises of oh, you can fornicate and not get pregnant. 00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:07.840 Additionally, there's harm to a girl having been on the on the 00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:11.760 pill. Some of that harm is mitigated over time, so it's not 00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:12.960 a death sentence. 00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:15.200 It's better for a virgin to have been on the pill and 00:51:15.200 --> 00:51:19.840 come off it after a few years than frankly someone who's not 00:51:19.840 --> 00:51:22.800 a virgin who was never on the pill who's been promiscuous before 00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:23.600 you meet her. 00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:26.160 In a perfect world, you would find both. 00:51:26.560 --> 00:51:29.440 Hundred years ago, it would have been almost a given. 00:51:29.440 --> 00:51:33.600 So again, we're we're dealing with a circumstance where, as Corey was 00:51:33.600 --> 00:51:38.080 saying, like the deck is getting stacked against young men on virtually 00:51:38.080 --> 00:51:39.280 every count here. 00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:42.640 And we're not trying to set up some impossible goal where there's 00:51:42.560 --> 00:51:47.600 only one girl in 10,000 that can possibly meet all these criteria. 00:51:47.600 --> 00:51:50.480 Most of these are not going to be hard and fast rules, 00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:53.280 but you as a young man should know that the longer and 00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:57.600 the more severely any of these things go on, the less suitable 00:51:57.600 --> 00:51:59.440 a wife she's going to be. 00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:03.680 Beyond any control of herself, beyond any question about being forgiven by 00:52:03.680 --> 00:52:06.080 Jesus, this is not, as we said in a couple of the 00:52:06.080 --> 00:52:09.040 other episodes, and as Corey said earlier, has nothing to do with 00:52:09.040 --> 00:52:13.840 forgiveness. This damage, this temporal consequences for sin is real. 00:52:14.160 --> 00:52:16.400 And much of it is immutable. 00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:19.520 It's like if you're a smoker for twenty years. 00:52:19.680 --> 00:52:22.720 You smoke a you know ten packs a day, and then you 00:52:22.720 --> 00:52:26.240 quit, your lungs will slowly heal, but they'll never go completely back 00:52:26.240 --> 00:52:27.040 to normal. 00:52:27.040 --> 00:52:30.880 So yes, after twenty years, is it better to quit smoking than 00:52:30.880 --> 00:52:32.080 to continue smoking? 00:52:32.080 --> 00:52:35.280 Absolutely. Is it better for your lungs if you never smoked at 00:52:35.280 --> 00:52:36.960 all? Obviously. 00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.280 So we're talking about 00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:42.560 just being aware, first of all. 00:52:42.560 --> 00:52:45.680 You know, again, I I don't want to give impossible circumstances because 00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:49.120 by the time we get done describing all these things, there may 00:52:49.120 --> 00:52:52.000 be there may be one girl in fifty thousand that meets them 00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:54.880 all. And that's not that would that would cause dispersion. 00:52:54.880 --> 00:52:58.320 I we we absolutely do not want young guys to despair. 00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:01.840 What we want is for you to have the best opportunity to 00:53:01.840 --> 00:53:05.840 find girls who are the most likely to be good wives. 00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:07.680 And we're getting into here in a minute in some of the 00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:12.960 scriptural descriptions of what a good wife is like, but there's stuff 00:53:12.960 --> 00:53:16.080 there's stuff that scripture doesn't talk about because it didn't exist, because 00:53:16.240 --> 00:53:21.600 it was so horrifically evil that it took technology, basically took demons 00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:25.200 putting this crap in the hands of humans before some of these 00:53:25.200 --> 00:53:26.560 modern things took off. 00:53:26.560 --> 00:53:28.800 So you as a young man needed, you know, and you as 00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:32.960 fathers who are listening, keep your daughters away from this crap, all 00:53:32.960 --> 00:53:33.280 of it. 00:53:33.280 --> 00:53:34.080 Don't put 'em in debt. 00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:36.320 Don't let them be put on the pill. 00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:39.520 And this is one of those things where just like daughters can 00:53:39.520 --> 00:53:43.360 now have abortions without their without parental consent. 00:53:43.360 --> 00:53:45.040 Stuff like the pill is happening too. 00:53:45.040 --> 00:53:47.040 In fact I I don't know what the state but I believe 00:53:47.040 --> 00:53:50.080 that the pill was just taken off prescription. 00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:52.400 Meaning that it will be possible to buy it if it's not 00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:54.160 already in stores. 00:53:54.160 --> 00:53:55.760 Over the counter. 00:53:55.760 --> 00:53:57.520 That's a nightmare for all these reasons. 00:53:57.520 --> 00:54:01.600 Like it's it's the reason that it went over the counter despite 00:54:01.600 --> 00:54:04.080 all the serious health risks is that 00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:07.280 the health risks are the point. 00:54:07.600 --> 00:54:12.720 the causing abortions, the destroying the future fertility The messing up pair 00:54:12.720 --> 00:54:15.600 bonding, which is another critical part. 00:54:15.600 --> 00:54:20.240 A girl who has a natural cycle has fundamentally different taste in 00:54:20.240 --> 00:54:22.240 men than a girl who's on the pill. 00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:23.680 Most people don't know that. 00:54:23.680 --> 00:54:24.720 Most girls don't know that. 00:54:24.720 --> 00:54:28.160 Your tasting guys changes when you go off the pill. 00:54:28.160 --> 00:54:30.960 You will be repelled by some of the very things you find 00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:34.080 attractive, depending on whether or not you're on the pill. 00:54:34.080 --> 00:54:38.080 When you're on the pill and your body thinks you're pregnant, You're 00:54:38.080 --> 00:54:42.560 more attracted to nurturing, you're less attracted to brash. 00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.960 There's a lot more to it, but basically it sort of narrows 00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:50.160 down and weakens the range of men that you find appealing. 00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:55.360 And this is a vicious feedback cycle where men are then conditioned 00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.280 by their wives or their girlfriends on the pill to be weaker 00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:01.200 than they maybe naturally would be. 00:55:01.200 --> 00:55:04.400 And then when, you know, ten years into your marriage you finally 00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:07.520 decide, okay, you know, we're getting into our mid thirties, maybe it's 00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:10.320 time to have our first kid, she goes off the pill, and 00:55:10.320 --> 00:55:14.080 two months later she's gonna divorce you because she finds you repellent. 00:55:14.080 --> 00:55:15.200 This actually happens. 00:55:15.200 --> 00:55:17.280 It is a it's a horrific risk. 00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:17.840 It's real. 00:55:18.560 --> 00:55:21.600 We may find some some links in show notes for this. 00:55:21.600 --> 00:55:24.480 Take my word for it or not, this stuff actually happens. 00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:28.080 these chemicals fundamentally alter human beings. 00:55:28.080 --> 00:55:32.080 And so when it's your wife who's pregnant and all these things 00:55:32.080 --> 00:55:34.480 are happening naturally, it's a blessing from God. 00:55:34.480 --> 00:55:35.040 It's fine. 00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:37.360 You're there, you're nurturing, you're taking care of her. 00:55:37.360 --> 00:55:40.240 And if she's in a really weird mood and you gotta just 00:55:40.240 --> 00:55:44.400 manage that gently, that is the blessing of a husband and wife 00:55:44.400 --> 00:55:45.840 living a life together. 00:55:45.840 --> 00:55:50.240 It's completely different when it's been chemically altered and you introduce not 00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:53.760 being in marriage and all these other things that just they tear 00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:56.080 apart the very thing that God was trying to form. 00:55:56.240 --> 00:55:58.640 And so for fathers, don't let it happen. 00:55:58.640 --> 00:56:00.640 For sons, be aware of it. 00:56:00.640 --> 00:56:03.040 Again, we're not saying write off any girl. 00:56:03.200 --> 00:56:05.440 If you can find a girl that's never been on the pill, 00:56:05.440 --> 00:56:09.040 that isn't in debt, doesn't have any tattoos, the reason tattoos come 00:56:09.040 --> 00:56:13.600 up is there's a very strong element of self loathing in a 00:56:13.600 --> 00:56:14.240 lot of this. 00:56:14.240 --> 00:56:17.120 For a girl there's a lot of self loathing in acting out 00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:21.840 sexually. And it's m it's again, it's a vicious cycle where she 00:56:21.840 --> 00:56:26.080 does something that she knows she didn't shouldn't do, she then regrets 00:56:26.080 --> 00:56:29.920 it, and to justify having done in the first place and to 00:56:29.920 --> 00:56:34.240 try to try to assuage the guilt, she'll go do more. 00:56:34.240 --> 00:56:37.040 To sort of double down and say, well, I can't have been 00:56:37.040 --> 00:56:38.880 wrong if I keep doing even more of it. 00:56:39.120 --> 00:56:43.280 That sounds stupid, but that's a sort of rationalization that goes on 00:56:43.280 --> 00:56:43.840 in people. 00:56:43.840 --> 00:56:47.040 That's not particular to girls, but when it particularly comes to sex 00:56:47.280 --> 00:56:51.200 sexual activity outside of marriage, it's very common. 00:56:51.200 --> 00:56:57.280 And tattoos and drugs and binge drinking, all these things are self-destructive. 00:56:57.280 --> 00:57:00.400 So something like tattoos are a good hallmark. 00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:04.080 Again, we're not making an absolute moral pronouncement, although I do think 00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:08.000 it's I think it's sinful, but principally because it's born of self 00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:12.000 loathing. Yeah, you see pictures of so many pretty young girls today. 00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:17.280 They're they have perfect beautiful skin, they're incredibly attractive, and they're covered 00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:18.320 in doodles. 00:57:18.320 --> 00:57:21.920 They have these permanent idiotic tattoos, not even art. 00:57:21.920 --> 00:57:25.280 They've just been u they've used their bodies like graffiti. 00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:28.640 And it's just it shows that they're headless. 00:57:28.640 --> 00:57:30.720 It shows that they have bad fathers. 00:57:30.720 --> 00:57:32.800 It shows or no fathers at all. 00:57:32.800 --> 00:57:35.440 It shows they have no good relationship with their father. 00:57:35.440 --> 00:57:37.840 And that they hate themselves to some degree. 00:57:37.840 --> 00:57:40.160 And that sort of self-loathing 00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:45.680 Again, it's it's a it's a vicious m mutually reinforcing cycle where 00:57:45.680 --> 00:57:48.400 the more you do things that hurt yourself, the more you want 00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:51.440 to hurt yourself for punishing yourself for having done the thing in 00:57:51.440 --> 00:57:52.320 the first place. 00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:55.200 And it's why we see so much self destruction in the world 00:57:55.200 --> 00:57:59.600 today. And then you know, maybe they sober up when they're in 00:57:59.600 --> 00:58:04.160 their thirty, thirty-five, forty, and they say, Well, where are all the 00:58:04.160 --> 00:58:04.800 good men? 00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:06.800 Well, all the good men are w looking for a girl who 00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:09.760 hasn't been destroying herself for twenty five years. 00:58:10.080 --> 00:58:13.520 Before we move on to the the scripture and then I guess 00:58:13.680 --> 00:58:17.440 finish up the episode with maybe some practical recommendations. 00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:20.400 And yes, I do recognize that I started to give a practical 00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:23.760 recommendation a little while ago and did not complete that. 00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:25.840 That is because we're going to do that at the end of 00:58:25.840 --> 00:58:27.200 the episode. 00:58:27.200 --> 00:58:31.360 But there's a blunt point, and I do mean blunt point that 00:58:31.360 --> 00:58:33.760 I wish to make here. 00:58:33.760 --> 00:58:37.280 As a man, one of the things that you are doing in 00:58:37.280 --> 00:58:40.560 a marriage at least one of the things that you should be 00:58:40.560 --> 00:58:45.600 doing in a marriage, is you are buying a womb. 00:58:45.600 --> 00:58:50.560 And the reason I word it that way is because yes, marriage 00:58:50.560 --> 00:58:53.920 is a transfer of title, in a sense. 00:58:53.920 --> 00:58:54.880 It is the 00:58:56.000 --> 00:59:01.200 father transferring title to the daughter to the husband. 00:59:01.200 --> 00:59:05.600 But in addition, I say you're buying a womb because that is 00:59:05.600 --> 00:59:08.880 the only way you can build a family. 00:59:08.880 --> 00:59:12.480 You cannot have children if your wife is infertile. 00:59:12.480 --> 00:59:15.760 Of course you can't have children if you're infertile either, and so 00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:17.920 for those of you who need to hear it, lay off the 00:59:17.920 --> 00:59:25.120 marijuana. But as was mentioned earlier, there is a fertility window for 00:59:25.120 --> 00:59:29.760 women. If she is outside that window, if she is aged out 00:59:29.760 --> 00:59:33.680 of being fertile, you cannot build a family with her, because she 00:59:33.680 --> 00:59:37.760 cannot have children, unless of course God happens to bless her in 00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:41.280 her old age, but chances are you're not going to be Sarah 00:59:41.280 --> 00:59:45.680 having children at that late stage in life. 00:59:45.680 --> 00:59:49.200 And so for the men out there, as a as a simple 00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:54.640 short practical recommendation before we get to the other ones later on. 00:59:54.640 --> 00:59:56.400 Mary younger. 00:59:56.400 --> 00:59:59.360 That has been historically normal. 00:59:59.360 --> 01:00:03.360 It varies in time and place, as was mentioned earlier, but it 01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:06.880 is entirely fine to marry younger. 01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:12.400 Your goal, assuming you are a good, upstanding Christian man, your goal 01:00:12.400 --> 01:00:14.320 is to build a family with this woman. 01:00:15.440 --> 01:00:18.240 If she needs to be ten years younger than you to do 01:00:18.240 --> 01:00:20.240 that, so be it. 01:00:20.240 --> 01:00:20.400 And 01:00:20.480 --> 01:00:24.080 before we continue, I wanna make one thing clear, because we've we've 01:00:24.080 --> 01:00:28.480 used language like buying a womb and transfer of title and those 01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:31.760 are specific mechanical things about what's going on. 01:00:31.760 --> 01:00:34.480 I don't want anyone, particularly young guys are trying to figure this 01:00:34.480 --> 01:00:37.360 stuff out and you hear a lot of strident crazy talk on 01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:38.160 the internet. 01:00:38.160 --> 01:00:41.280 None of this is intended to dehumanize the girl that you want 01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:42.240 to marry. 01:00:42.240 --> 01:00:45.040 This is a person, this is a human being that you're gonna 01:00:45.040 --> 01:00:47.680 spend every day of the rest of your life with. 01:00:47.680 --> 01:00:49.520 She better be a good person. 01:00:49.520 --> 01:00:53.280 She better be kind and gentle and loving and and someone you 01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:54.160 want to be around. 01:00:54.160 --> 01:00:55.360 That's a human being. 01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:57.440 That's not a womb with legs. 01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:00.320 That's not something that you've just gotten a title to. 01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:01.920 That's not property. 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:05.440 That is a becomes a part of your own body. 01:01:05.440 --> 01:01:10.160 So the the specific reason that Corey and I will narrowly speak 01:01:10.160 --> 01:01:14.080 in those terms, A, it runs completely counter to everything that everyone 01:01:14.080 --> 01:01:16.880 else is saying, when it is in fact true. 01:01:16.880 --> 01:01:19.440 But that doesn't mean that it's the whole picture. 01:01:19.440 --> 01:01:20.560 We don't think it's the whole picture. 01:01:20.560 --> 01:01:22.800 It's not even remotely the whole picture. 01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:24.960 But it's a necessary part of it. 01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:30.160 Because Corey said if if the purpose of marriage is to procreate, 01:01:30.160 --> 01:01:34.560 which incidentally is what God said, said in Genesis the beginning, and 01:01:34.560 --> 01:01:38.960 he said in Genesis nine to Noah, Adam and Noah got the 01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:43.280 same message, and then it's reinforced again in the New Testament. 01:01:43.280 --> 01:01:46.960 Procreation is one of the gifts that God gives us. 01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:51.280 That's a man and a woman, becoming one flesh. 01:01:51.280 --> 01:01:55.200 And the problems come in socially because the one flesh thing is 01:01:55.200 --> 01:01:56.320 a lot of fun. 01:01:56.320 --> 01:01:57.760 And all these technological 01:01:58.640 --> 01:02:03.280 so called advancements let us have the fun without having the rest 01:02:03.280 --> 01:02:06.480 of our lives part of it, which God intended and which God 01:02:06.480 --> 01:02:07.840 built in builds into it. 01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:10.720 So if you're a young guy and you're you know, there's a 01:02:11.040 --> 01:02:13.360 lot of people on the internet say a lot of really batty 01:02:13.440 --> 01:02:14.320 weird stuff. 01:02:14.320 --> 01:02:16.960 And frankly, one of the reasons we want to do hope we 01:02:16.960 --> 01:02:20.640 hope will be an encouraging episode to you is because one of 01:02:20.640 --> 01:02:23.440 the things I see a lot of young guys struggling with, particularly 01:02:23.440 --> 01:02:26.880 when they're starting to figure out just how bad things are is 01:02:26.960 --> 01:02:32.800 but they become completely blackpilled and completely hateful towards the state of 01:02:32.800 --> 01:02:36.720 girls, to the point that they attribute that directly to just hating 01:02:36.720 --> 01:02:42.080 girls. And there's a whole subculture that sees that basically as a 01:02:42.080 --> 01:02:47.600 personality, that somehow hating and dehumanizing girls and calling them horrible names 01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:52.880 is is what is how they express their existence as guys. 01:02:53.040 --> 01:02:56.400 We don't think that and we don't we condemn those who do 01:02:56.640 --> 01:02:57.840 because it's destructive. 01:02:57.840 --> 01:03:01.760 It's every bit as destructive to these girls as all the other 01:03:01.760 --> 01:03:05.200 things that are going on that in some cases may frankly merit 01:03:05.200 --> 01:03:06.560 some of the name calling. 01:03:06.560 --> 01:03:09.760 It is a man's job to s to rise above the state 01:03:09.760 --> 01:03:12.800 of the world and to try to do things that are right, 01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:14.480 even when things are messed up. 01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:19.520 And the wisdom involved is figuring out what can I live with, 01:03:19.520 --> 01:03:22.640 where do I draw the line, and how do I conduct myself 01:03:22.640 --> 01:03:26.240 in a godly manner, in one that's going to, as Corey said, 01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:27.200 build a family. 01:03:27.200 --> 01:03:28.320 That's the point. 01:03:28.320 --> 01:03:29.920 You're not just loving one person. 01:03:30.080 --> 01:03:33.040 It's not just, oh, she's cute and I want to get with 01:03:33.040 --> 01:03:36.560 her. You're gonna spend the rest of your life with her. 01:03:36.560 --> 01:03:38.080 Because she's a person. 01:03:38.080 --> 01:03:42.080 She's a charming, attractive person that you want to have with you. 01:03:42.080 --> 01:03:43.200 And by your side. 01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:48.560 You know, for all the attraction and all the flame early on, 01:03:48.560 --> 01:03:50.960 this is a companion who's going to be with you the rest 01:03:50.960 --> 01:03:52.160 of your life. 01:03:52.160 --> 01:03:56.000 And it's something that goes into mate choice up front, but then 01:03:56.000 --> 01:03:58.560 it pays dividends for the rest of your life. 01:03:58.560 --> 01:03:58.880 And 01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:02.000 you know, as we get into some of the other practical stuff, 01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.720 I just want to mention that a lot of this is downstream 01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:07.360 from a girl's relationship with her father. 01:04:07.760 --> 01:04:11.440 I the advice that I give to young guys to mirror what 01:04:11.440 --> 01:04:17.040 Corey said: don't be shy about her being younger if you're avoiding 01:04:17.040 --> 01:04:18.720 some of these pitfalls. 01:04:18.720 --> 01:04:23.920 Not that it's necessarily the only correct solution, but if the only 01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:26.800 way you can find a girl who hasn't had sex with twenty 01:04:26.880 --> 01:04:30.800 guys or ten, i wherever you want to draw the line, you 01:04:30.800 --> 01:04:34.320 know, ideally it should be zero, her relationship with her father is 01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:38.240 going to be reflective of the relationship she will have with you. 01:04:38.240 --> 01:04:40.480 And that's something else you're buying. 01:04:40.480 --> 01:04:43.600 You know, we talk about a mechanical transactional thing. 01:04:43.600 --> 01:04:46.560 The relationship that we she has with her dad is going to 01:04:46.560 --> 01:04:49.120 mirror the relationship that we ha she has with you. 01:04:49.120 --> 01:04:53.360 She f she's rebellious, if she loathes headship, if she has it 01:04:53.360 --> 01:04:56.000 all figured out on her own, she's never going to be a 01:04:56.000 --> 01:04:57.920 good wife ever. 01:04:57.920 --> 01:04:58.960 By any measure. 01:04:58.960 --> 01:05:01.920 She's never going to be a good wife because her dad screwed 01:05:01.920 --> 01:05:02.720 her up. 01:05:02.720 --> 01:05:04.320 You can't fix that. 01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:08.000 You can you can try, but you're gonna fail, because the only 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:11.760 model she's ever had has been the sort of model that's going 01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:14.320 to finally tear you apart. 01:05:14.320 --> 01:05:19.600 No. Before no fault divorce and some of these other things, maybe 01:05:19.600 --> 01:05:22.240 you could bear it out and maybe you could bring her around, 01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:25.440 but today when you have literally no recourse for someone who decides 01:05:25.920 --> 01:05:29.680 that she wants to be a harpy or some other terrible thing. 01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:30.800 You're just out of luck. 01:05:30.800 --> 01:05:34.080 You're gonna lose half your stuff and she's gonna go on and 01:05:34.080 --> 01:05:36.880 you may be stuck paying her for the rest of your life 01:05:37.200 --> 01:05:40.960 for a bad relationship. 01:05:40.960 --> 01:05:43.760 That's not a reason not to get married, but it's very much 01:05:43.760 --> 01:05:47.360 a reason to focus on finding a good girl going into it. 01:05:47.360 --> 01:05:52.720 So being kind, being loving, being wholesome, yeah, just generic stuff. 01:05:52.720 --> 01:05:56.080 Pretty. Not frankly, not too hot. 01:05:56.080 --> 01:05:59.280 The hottest girl in the world that you've ever seen has had 01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:02.400 attention from so many guys that she's going to be mad. 01:06:02.400 --> 01:06:06.800 She's going to have become completely insane because no one can possibly 01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:09.680 cope with having that much positive attention. 01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:12.080 Find a girl who's pretty that you like. 01:06:12.080 --> 01:06:16.000 Maybe find a girl who's neglected, that most guys don't see something 01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:17.280 in her that you see. 01:06:17.280 --> 01:06:20.480 That girl is going to love you a great deal more. 01:06:20.480 --> 01:06:23.280 And one of the remarkable things about a girl loving you is 01:06:23.280 --> 01:06:25.840 that when she looks at you with that sort of love, her 01:06:25.840 --> 01:06:29.440 face transforms and she literally becomes more beautiful when she looks at 01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:32.080 you. Maybe no one else ever sees it, but you see it 01:06:32.320 --> 01:06:33.280 all the time. 01:06:33.280 --> 01:06:35.840 That's is a very real thing. 01:06:35.840 --> 01:06:36.160 And 01:06:37.280 --> 01:06:40.320 it's one of the things that I think guys like I said, 01:06:40.320 --> 01:06:41.840 we we talked to a lot of young guys. 01:06:41.840 --> 01:06:44.160 I don't think they're being super picky about I only want the 01:06:44.160 --> 01:06:47.280 hottest girl, but you want her to be attractive. 01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:48.880 That's it's it's crucial. 01:06:48.880 --> 01:06:51.520 You have to be attracted to the girl. 01:06:51.520 --> 01:06:54.160 And beauty is a big part of it. 01:06:54.160 --> 01:06:57.040 But inner beauty is a real thing too, because she's a human 01:06:57.040 --> 01:06:58.800 being, she's a person. 01:06:58.800 --> 01:07:03.360 And so this transactional stuff it's it's very specific and narrow. 01:07:03.360 --> 01:07:08.080 It's not remotely the whole context of your relationship or your marriage. 01:07:08.080 --> 01:07:12.800 That is two people becoming one and spending your lives together. 01:07:13.200 --> 01:07:18.000 To emphasize what was said about the nature of woman, I'm reminded 01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:18.320 of 01:07:19.840 --> 01:07:23.360 something I said in episode twenty two when we were also talking 01:07:23.920 --> 01:07:29.440 about women, that was our episode on women more properly. 01:07:29.440 --> 01:07:33.360 I pointed out, and I think this is worth just reiterating here, 01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:35.680 instead of just telling you to go back and listen to that 01:07:35.680 --> 01:07:41.520 episode, I pointed out that in the garden Adam walked with God, 01:07:41.520 --> 01:07:47.520 Adam knew God face to face, Adam talked with God, and yet 01:07:47.520 --> 01:07:51.680 God still said it is not good for man to be alone. 01:07:51.680 --> 01:07:56.800 Woman is the greatest blessing next to, of course, salvation, as I 01:07:56.800 --> 01:08:00.800 also mentioned in the previous episode, but of course Adam did not 01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:03.600 need salvation at that point. 01:08:03.600 --> 01:08:09.280 Woman is the greatest gift God has ever made for man, and 01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:13.920 that is true for every man with regard to his wife. 01:08:13.920 --> 01:08:17.040 And And it is important to keep sight of that, not to 01:08:17.040 --> 01:08:20.160 lose sight of that. 01:08:20.160 --> 01:08:23.520 Even if we mentioned the problems we have today, and yes, we're 01:08:23.440 --> 01:08:28.720 in a fallen world, and woman has a rebellious streak, that's part 01:08:28.720 --> 01:08:30.320 of her curse. 01:08:30.320 --> 01:08:32.960 And really it's a curse that falls on the man, but that's 01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:36.320 a separate topic for another time. 01:08:36.320 --> 01:08:40.000 Even though we live in a fallen world, she is still one 01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:42.640 of the greatest blessings God can give you, and scripture is very 01:08:43.040 --> 01:08:43.760 clear on that. 01:08:43.840 --> 01:08:49.360 I think that leads in nicely to talking about Scripture. 01:08:49.360 --> 01:08:54.160 And so to start off, I would begin with Proverbs. 01:08:54.320 --> 01:09:00.000 Perhaps Proverbs eighteen to start he who finds a wife finds a 01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:03.600 good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. 01:09:03.600 --> 01:09:08.400 But perhaps even more than that verse Proverbs nineteen, house and wealth 01:09:08.400 --> 01:09:14.080 are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. 01:09:14.080 --> 01:09:20.000 Scripture's very clear that a good wife is a gift from God. 01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:23.360 Yes, there are of course things that society can do to improve 01:09:23.360 --> 01:09:26.080 your odds of finding a wife, there are things fathers can do 01:09:26.080 --> 01:09:29.280 to raise daughters to be good wives, etc. 01:09:29.600 --> 01:09:35.440 However, all Ultimately that blessing is from God, as are all blessings. 01:09:35.440 --> 01:09:40.880 God uses human beings and the creation as his tools to deliver 01:09:40.880 --> 01:09:42.960 blessings to you. 01:09:42.960 --> 01:09:48.000 But ultimately those blessings are from God, and Scripture here, very clear, 01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:52.880 a good wife is a great blessing from God. 01:09:52.880 --> 01:09:59.440 Of course we can also turn to Ecclesiastes, and this emphasizes and 01:09:59.440 --> 01:10:02.480 really we were echoing this point, but it emphasizes the point we 01:10:02.480 --> 01:10:03.520 were making about 01:10:04.400 --> 01:10:08.720 how you should go through life if God gives you a wife. 01:10:08.720 --> 01:10:13.440 And so Ecclesiastes nine, enjoy life with the wife whom you love, 01:10:13.440 --> 01:10:16.000 all the days of your life that he has given you under 01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:19.680 the sun, because that is your portion in life, and is your 01:10:19.680 --> 01:10:22.720 toil at which you toil under the sun. 01:10:22.720 --> 01:10:23.040 I think 01:10:23.040 --> 01:10:27.680 as we look at the scriptural admonitions for what a good wife 01:10:27.680 --> 01:10:30.960 looks like, it's basic and it's obvious, but I think maybe we 01:10:30.960 --> 01:10:36.400 don't necessarily test ourselves, particularly before marriage, you know, when when there's 01:10:36.320 --> 01:10:39.840 a young man and w young woman just trying to figure out 01:10:40.160 --> 01:10:41.760 who do I want. 01:10:41.760 --> 01:10:45.760 These passages are not just about okay, once I'm married, this is 01:10:45.760 --> 01:10:47.840 how I ought to behave. 01:10:47.840 --> 01:10:52.480 Some of these things are qualitative about the person themselves. 01:10:52.480 --> 01:10:57.280 Can you as a girl, can you as a as a young 01:10:57.280 --> 01:10:57.600 man 01:10:58.640 --> 01:11:00.000 live up to these things? 01:11:00.000 --> 01:11:04.160 Have you lived yourself, your life in such a women fashion that 01:11:04.160 --> 01:11:07.520 you can deliver on these expectations from God. 01:11:07.520 --> 01:11:11.360 And if you're on a path where you are perhaps disrupting some 01:11:11.360 --> 01:11:13.920 of the things that make it possible for you to deliver on 01:11:13.920 --> 01:11:17.200 what God expects, amend your ways now. 01:11:17.200 --> 01:11:20.240 Because it's not just about cleaning up your act once you get 01:11:20.240 --> 01:11:24.720 married. that's frankly one of the biggest tropes today. 01:11:24.720 --> 01:11:32.000 The girls live wild, they do unspeakable things with insane 01:11:32.080 --> 01:11:35.600 numbers of men, and then they decide to settle down, and then 01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:37.440 they decide to be the good girl. 01:11:37.440 --> 01:11:41.440 And so effectively, the one man who's actually willing to give her 01:11:41.440 --> 01:11:47.040 a chance is settling for the leftovers of fifty guys who came 01:11:47.040 --> 01:11:52.000 before. And she feels it, even if he doesn't know it, and 01:11:52.000 --> 01:11:56.960 if he ever finds out he's destroyed by it, either directly destroyed 01:11:56.960 --> 01:12:01.440 by the realization in his own disgust, and then the certain the 01:12:01.440 --> 01:12:05.200 situation of being in a marriage with a woman who has done 01:12:05.200 --> 01:12:10.160 these things, or he destroys himself as a man by effectively accepting 01:12:10.160 --> 01:12:12.800 that sort of behavior and saying, Oh, well, I I guess I 01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:14.800 love you anyway, and that's what I've got. 01:12:14.800 --> 01:12:18.000 It's there's no fixing those situations. 01:12:18.000 --> 01:12:21.440 And that's it's one of the reasons that the 01:12:22.320 --> 01:12:24.000 God speaks to this directly. 01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:27.600 In first Corinthians 6, he says, the body is not meant for 01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:31.520 sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body, 01:12:31.520 --> 01:12:34.480 and God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by 01:12:34.480 --> 01:12:35.280 his power. 01:12:35.280 --> 01:12:38.000 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? 01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:40.800 Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members 01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:42.000 of a prostitute? 01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:45.040 Never. Or do you not know that he who joined is joined 01:12:45.040 --> 01:12:48.400 to a prostitute becomes one body with her, for it is written, 01:12:48.400 --> 01:12:50.560 The two become one flesh. 01:12:50.560 --> 01:12:53.440 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with 01:12:53.440 --> 01:12:56.320 him. Flee from sexual immorality. 01:12:56.320 --> 01:12:59.680 Every other sin a person commits outside of the body, but the 01:12:59.680 --> 01:13:03.440 sexually immoral person sins against his own body, or do you not 01:13:03.440 --> 01:13:06.400 know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within 01:13:06.400 --> 01:13:08.480 you, whom you have from God? 01:13:08.480 --> 01:13:11.120 You are not your own, for you were bought with a price, 01:13:11.120 --> 01:13:13.920 so glorify God in your body. 01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:20.880 Now, the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is one 01:13:20.880 --> 01:13:25.120 that's fundamentally about choosing to drive out the Holy Spirit. 01:13:25.120 --> 01:13:25.440 And 01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:28.640 I think that this passage goes directly 01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:32.320 to one of the paths that can lead to that. 01:13:32.320 --> 01:13:35.680 If your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, which is 01:13:35.680 --> 01:13:40.000 true, there's no if about it, if you're a Christian, and you 01:13:40.320 --> 01:13:44.000 continuously sin in ways that you know are sin and you do 01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:48.560 them anyway because you want the the upsides and you don't fear 01:13:48.560 --> 01:13:49.520 the downsides. 01:13:49.520 --> 01:13:52.880 Either you think God wasn't serious, or you'll make up for that, 01:13:52.880 --> 01:13:56.000 you know, next Sunday, or you're just not going to think about 01:13:56.000 --> 01:13:59.360 it. Eventually you will drive out the Holy Spirit. 01:13:59.360 --> 01:14:03.040 If you make your body a temple for fornication, that is what 01:14:03.040 --> 01:14:03.920 it will become. 01:14:04.160 --> 01:14:08.080 And God in numerous places says that He gives people over to 01:14:08.080 --> 01:14:09.440 their lusts. 01:14:09.440 --> 01:14:12.800 If you want to say, I don't want God, I want this 01:14:12.800 --> 01:14:13.920 other thing instead. 01:14:13.920 --> 01:14:18.400 Something that was created by God as a gift within the boundaries 01:14:18.400 --> 01:14:19.840 that he established. 01:14:19.840 --> 01:14:22.720 If we say no, I'm gonna steal that for myself, I'm gonna 01:14:22.720 --> 01:14:25.600 do what I want with it, use it the way I want 01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:28.800 it, you're endangering your soul. 01:14:28.800 --> 01:14:32.320 And as Corey said earlier, a lot of this is about antinomianism 01:14:32.400 --> 01:14:35.840 because people think, you know, I don't want to judge people, I'm 01:14:35.760 --> 01:14:37.200 just gonna let that slide. 01:14:37.200 --> 01:14:41.280 I can do a little bit and it's fine. 01:14:41.280 --> 01:14:43.520 You're going in one direction or the other. 01:14:44.160 --> 01:14:48.400 And I want to mention just briefly here, hearkening back to what 01:14:48.400 --> 01:14:54.400 we discussed in the listener feedback episode about chastity versus celibacy. 01:14:55.920 --> 01:15:00.000 If you're a young man and you wonder maybe I'm just a 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.800 celibate, celibate means that if a completely naked, beautiful girl walks up 01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:08.640 to you and she has a big smile and she asks you 01:15:08.640 --> 01:15:10.160 some question. 01:15:10.160 --> 01:15:15.280 If your response, your soul response is to be annoyed with her 01:15:15.280 --> 01:15:18.400 for behaving in such a way, and you send her away. 01:15:18.400 --> 01:15:21.040 And when she walks away, you don't even glance up to check 01:15:21.040 --> 01:15:23.440 her out, then you're celibate. 01:15:23.440 --> 01:15:25.840 That's pretty much the threshold for celibacy. 01:15:25.840 --> 01:15:27.040 That's I don't care. 01:15:27.040 --> 01:15:29.520 I don't want anything to do with sex. 01:15:29.520 --> 01:15:34.720 Period. Everyone else is trying to be chaste. 01:15:35.680 --> 01:15:39.680 This passage is talking about chastity. 01:15:39.680 --> 01:15:46.320 Someone who is celibate doesn't need to flee sexual immorality because they're 01:15:46.320 --> 01:15:48.800 not capable of sexual ill morality. 01:15:48.960 --> 01:15:52.240 If you're celibate, there's none of it for you. 01:15:52.240 --> 01:15:55.200 It's a gift from God that's so incredibly rare as we said 01:15:55.200 --> 01:15:58.080 in episode twenty two, you don't know anybody. 01:15:58.080 --> 01:15:59.520 It's not you. 01:15:59.520 --> 01:16:00.720 It's conceivable. 01:16:00.720 --> 01:16:03.760 It's a gift from God that s exists in some cases, but 01:16:03.760 --> 01:16:08.400 it's so rare that you shouldn't take it seriously as a thing. 01:16:08.400 --> 01:16:13.120 And the reason that's important is that for everyone else, chastity is 01:16:14.960 --> 01:16:15.920 A duty. 01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:20.480 It's a duty to God to preserve the bounds of this gift 01:16:20.800 --> 01:16:24.880 within the scope for which God gave it. 01:16:24.880 --> 01:16:30.880 When you remove sex from the boundaries of marriage, you are unchaste. 01:16:30.880 --> 01:16:32.320 That's what it means. 01:16:32.320 --> 01:16:36.320 There's no such, you know, chastity has to do with refraining from 01:16:36.320 --> 01:16:38.480 that which is outside what's given to you. 01:16:38.480 --> 01:16:43.920 So young men particularly struggle with chastity because I said earlier, you're 01:16:43.920 --> 01:16:50.320 surrounded by girls who are sexually promiscuous, who visually display their sexual 01:16:50.320 --> 01:16:53.760 availability by dressing in ways that would have gotten people arrested even 01:16:54.160 --> 01:16:55.120 twenty years ago. 01:16:55.120 --> 01:16:57.520 And today it's basically just normal. 01:16:57.520 --> 01:16:58.720 That's a nightmare. 01:16:58.720 --> 01:17:03.840 For any young man who's full of testosterone, which incidentally leads directly 01:17:03.840 --> 01:17:07.840 to sexual desire, the the hormone is there for that purpose. 01:17:07.840 --> 01:17:10.480 As Corey said earlier in I think one of the on women 01:17:10.480 --> 01:17:16.080 episodes, one of the metabolites for girls drinking alcohol is testosterone. 01:17:16.080 --> 01:17:18.320 They get hornier when they drink. 01:17:18.320 --> 01:17:21.760 It doesn't happen that way with guys. 01:17:21.760 --> 01:17:23.280 We are naturally 01:17:24.240 --> 01:17:27.280 sexually amped up by virtue of being men. 01:17:27.280 --> 01:17:30.880 And chastity is confining that to your wife. 01:17:30.880 --> 01:17:33.520 And if you don't have a wife, then you just try as 01:17:33.520 --> 01:17:34.960 best you can to turn it off. 01:17:34.960 --> 01:17:38.160 You don't put yourself in situations where you're gonna be tempted, and 01:17:38.160 --> 01:17:41.280 if there is temptation, you flee from it, as many passages in 01:17:41.280 --> 01:17:44.880 scripture say you just you do what Joseph did with Potiphar's wife. 01:17:45.040 --> 01:17:47.040 He tried to seduce her, she fled. 01:17:47.040 --> 01:17:48.480 It was a sure thing. 01:17:48.480 --> 01:17:52.240 She I'm sure she was beautiful, she was wealthy, she was ready 01:17:52.240 --> 01:17:55.680 to go, and Joseph fled, because it was wicked, and he was 01:17:55.680 --> 01:17:56.640 faithful to God. 01:17:56.880 --> 01:17:58.880 That's chastity. 01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:01.440 But incidentally, it wasn't celibacy. 01:18:01.440 --> 01:18:02.800 Joseph wasn't celibate. 01:18:02.800 --> 01:18:06.000 He was obeying God by fleeing temptation because he was tempted. 01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:09.840 There would not have been temptation if he were celibate. 01:18:09.840 --> 01:18:13.840 So don't let pastors try to box you into a corner where 01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:16.960 they say, Oh, you right now you're blessed with a gift of 01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:19.120 singleness. That's not a gift. 01:18:19.120 --> 01:18:21.120 That is a temporary condition. 01:18:21.120 --> 01:18:23.680 And you pray to God to send you a godly wife as 01:18:23.680 --> 01:18:26.960 He has promised He intends for all men. 01:18:26.960 --> 01:18:31.920 When that day arrives, then chastity is set aside, and you love 01:18:31.920 --> 01:18:32.800 your wife. 01:18:32.800 --> 01:18:35.840 You love only her, and you love her completely, and she loves 01:18:35.840 --> 01:18:43.120 you. So it's it's an if-then situation, it's not an not me. 01:18:43.120 --> 01:18:44.800 And then maybe later I'll turn it on. 01:18:44.800 --> 01:18:46.800 You've that's not that's not the case. 01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:51.680 Be chaste when you're young, be chaste when you're unmarried, and when 01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:55.600 you're married, stop being chaste, as God says, except for a time 01:18:55.600 --> 01:18:57.200 by mutual agreement. 01:18:57.200 --> 01:19:00.880 Otherwise, you need to continue to maintain that one flesh union because 01:19:00.880 --> 01:19:05.040 it is absolutely a part of maintaining your marriage. 01:19:05.040 --> 01:19:06.720 A marriage is maintained. 01:19:06.720 --> 01:19:10.640 It's not it's not a a flag that gets set on you, 01:19:10.640 --> 01:19:13.280 you know, like something gets put on your driver's license, you know, 01:19:13.280 --> 01:19:14.800 an endorsement. 01:19:14.800 --> 01:19:18.800 A marriage is sustained by the activity within the marriage, the conduct 01:19:18.800 --> 01:19:21.440 that you have with each other, the way you treat each other, 01:19:21.440 --> 01:19:24.560 and part of that is the opposite of chastity. 01:19:24.560 --> 01:19:28.000 The gift is given to you by God, and you're expected to 01:19:28.000 --> 01:19:28.560 use it. 01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:32.800 And if one party or the other ceases to, the marriage will 01:19:32.800 --> 01:19:37.280 wither. It will absolutely be harmed by your failure to love your 01:19:37.280 --> 01:19:39.840 spouse as you were intended to. 01:19:39.840 --> 01:19:40.080 And 01:19:40.080 --> 01:19:43.920 scripture is very clear on that point, neither the wife nor the 01:19:43.920 --> 01:19:49.280 husband is entitled to withhold sex from the other. 01:19:49.280 --> 01:19:52.960 Extremely clear that that is not something that you are permitted to 01:19:52.960 --> 01:19:57.200 do, except of course by agreement for a period of time for 01:19:57.840 --> 01:20:03.040 reasons of self-control or prayer. 01:20:03.040 --> 01:20:07.760 But I think this is a good point to emphasize something that 01:20:07.760 --> 01:20:10.240 is going to come up in the mind of some of the 01:20:10.240 --> 01:20:16.000 particularly younger male listeners, and that is the problem of pornography. 01:20:16.240 --> 01:20:19.280 Now I wrote a short piece on that, I'll link it in 01:20:19.280 --> 01:20:22.800 the show notes, but I want to hit on some of the 01:20:22.800 --> 01:20:26.160 points of that here. 01:20:26.160 --> 01:20:32.800 You shouldn't fall into despair if you have that habitual sin. 01:20:32.800 --> 01:20:37.920 So long as you regret having fallen into that sin again and 01:20:37.920 --> 01:20:39.040 wish to do better. 01:20:39.040 --> 01:20:43.040 Because if you regret that sin and wish to do better, that's 01:20:43.040 --> 01:20:49.760 repentance. Just because you fall into a habitual sin does not mean 01:20:49.920 --> 01:20:54.560 that you have given yourself over to a reprobate mind or you've 01:20:54.560 --> 01:20:56.960 fallen away or any of these other things. 01:20:56.960 --> 01:20:58.320 Don't give in to despair. 01:20:58.320 --> 01:21:01.040 That is what Satan wants you to do. 01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:05.600 Satan is that little voice telling you Well you gave in again, 01:21:05.600 --> 01:21:10.560 you'll never kick this habit, you may as well just not care. 01:21:10.560 --> 01:21:15.280 If you give in completely, that is when it becomes the problem 01:21:15.280 --> 01:21:18.800 of driving out the Holy Spirit. 01:21:18.800 --> 01:21:22.800 If you fall into these particularly this kind of habitual sin as 01:21:22.800 --> 01:21:26.960 a young man, try to do better. 01:21:26.960 --> 01:21:30.800 Look for ways that you can suppress the temptation. 01:21:30.800 --> 01:21:34.640 But as long as you have that repentance, you have that regret, 01:21:34.640 --> 01:21:37.520 you have that desire to turn away from the sin and back 01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:41.600 toward God, that is the mark of a Christian. 01:21:41.600 --> 01:21:44.800 That is the work of the law turning you away from your 01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:46.480 sin and back to God. 01:21:46.480 --> 01:21:50.800 That is things functioning not exactly as they should, because obviously ideally 01:21:50.880 --> 01:21:54.240 you wouldn't fall into the sin, but it is things in light 01:21:54.240 --> 01:21:58.240 of your fallen nature and having fallen to that sin functioning as 01:21:58.240 --> 01:22:00.160 best they can. 01:22:00.160 --> 01:22:03.120 And so I do recommend for all the young men, and for 01:22:03.120 --> 01:22:05.360 other listeners as well, to go and read that piece. 01:22:05.360 --> 01:22:08.480 I think that I make a number of important points in that 01:22:08.480 --> 01:22:14.880 piece about the reality of this particular topic given current circumstances in 01:22:14.880 --> 01:22:17.680 our culture at large. 01:22:18.000 --> 01:22:18.320 I 01:22:18.320 --> 01:22:22.080 think one important thing to address here is that 01:22:23.040 --> 01:22:27.760 this is fundamentally a question of desires that are properly ordered versus 01:22:27.760 --> 01:22:29.920 desires that are disordered. 01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:34.880 It is absolutely properly ordered for you to desire to see a 01:22:34.880 --> 01:22:36.160 woman naked. 01:22:36.160 --> 01:22:38.960 What is disordered is that you're not to desire that of all 01:22:38.960 --> 01:22:42.960 women. You're to desire that of your wife and no one else. 01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:47.440 So it's it's a It's a it's a filter where on one 01:22:47.440 --> 01:22:51.840 side you want everything about your wife and you should want nothing 01:22:51.840 --> 01:22:52.640 of other women. 01:22:52.640 --> 01:22:54.880 And if you don't have a wife, it should mean that you 01:22:54.880 --> 01:22:58.240 want nothing of any of them sexually. 01:22:58.240 --> 01:23:02.800 So So when someone is is tempted by sexual desire by someone 01:23:02.800 --> 01:23:08.000 who's not his wife, as you struggle with that, know that you're 01:23:08.000 --> 01:23:13.520 struggling with a properly ordered desire that's misplaced. 01:23:13.520 --> 01:23:15.920 Because you're looking at someone that's not your wife. 01:23:15.920 --> 01:23:16.880 You shouldn't. 01:23:16.880 --> 01:23:20.080 You shouldn't be looking at a screen or a magazine or some 01:23:20.720 --> 01:23:26.160 figmentary represent representation of a human being that's disembodied, that's no longer 01:23:26.160 --> 01:23:28.400 human, it's just an image. 01:23:28.400 --> 01:23:34.160 That's one of the other destructive things about viewing other people remotely 01:23:34.160 --> 01:23:34.800 like that. 01:23:34.800 --> 01:23:40.000 And it's it's an incredibly surreal and virtually impossible thing that we 01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:44.560 face today, really entirely on the internet, but also even just with 01:23:44.560 --> 01:23:46.080 magazines and with television. 01:23:46.080 --> 01:23:49.520 And really with the invention of the photograph, or at least with 01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:53.520 the invention of easily reproduced drawings. 01:23:53.520 --> 01:23:57.920 Because two hundred years ago, if you saw a beautiful girl, the 01:23:57.920 --> 01:23:59.840 only way you're gonna see her was with your own eyes. 01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:03.200 And I'm not not talking about sexual desire, not talking about seeing 01:24:03.200 --> 01:24:06.080 anyone naked or anything r remotely like that. 01:24:06.080 --> 01:24:10.640 Literally just seeing a pretty girl's face in in the almost all 01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:13.120 of human history was going to be pretty rare. 01:24:13.120 --> 01:24:16.160 Like it it's gonna be a neighbor, it's gonna be someone in 01:24:16.160 --> 01:24:19.440 your close or extended family, it's gonna be someone in your tribe 01:24:19.440 --> 01:24:23.600 or clan, someone nearby, or perhaps you travel and you see a 01:24:23.600 --> 01:24:26.800 pretty girl somewhere else. 01:24:26.800 --> 01:24:30.560 Short of actually getting in with you know 30 feet of someone 01:24:30.560 --> 01:24:32.720 and seeing her with your own eyes or him with his your 01:24:32.720 --> 01:24:37.840 own eyes for your girl, uh men and women are equally sexual 01:24:37.840 --> 01:24:39.360 when it comes to the visual. 01:24:39.360 --> 01:24:42.320 It it's it's nonsense that there's a huge disparity. 01:24:42.320 --> 01:24:46.960 Men are much more visual, but girls absolutely have the same sort 01:24:46.960 --> 01:24:50.800 of responses, just somewhat in different circumstances. 01:24:50.800 --> 01:24:54.400 So girls absolutely lust after guys when they look at them too, 01:24:54.400 --> 01:24:58.560 but it's much more about fantasy for them. 01:24:58.560 --> 01:25:01.440 The s the thing that we struggle with today, and I think 01:25:01.440 --> 01:25:06.400 the really bizarre dehumanizing aspect of aspect of images of people, regardless 01:25:06.400 --> 01:25:10.080 of of anything else, regardless of sexual chastity. 01:25:10.080 --> 01:25:13.600 Just the idea that you would see someone phenomenally beautiful because you 01:25:13.600 --> 01:25:15.440 were able to find a picture of them 01:25:16.320 --> 01:25:19.040 it was impossible for almost all human history. 01:25:19.040 --> 01:25:24.000 Which means that for us, for everyone on Earth today, our beauty 01:25:24.000 --> 01:25:27.120 standards are completely bonkers. 01:25:27.120 --> 01:25:31.040 Because two hundred years ago, the best looking person in your town, 01:25:31.440 --> 01:25:33.920 yeah, maybe they're only average, man or woman. 01:25:33.920 --> 01:25:37.280 Maybe they're exceptionally pretty, if it was from a really good looking 01:25:37.280 --> 01:25:39.760 family. You know, maybe there's an outlier. 01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:43.120 But it's so rare that the idea that you have to have 01:25:43.120 --> 01:25:48.240 the incredibly beautiful man or woman would never occur to anyone because 01:25:48.400 --> 01:25:51.600 that person, you know, when Helen of Troy, the face that launched 01:25:51.680 --> 01:25:55.280 a shop thousand ships, there's a joke on Twitter a few months 01:25:55.280 --> 01:25:58.080 ago that Helen of Troy was mid, meaning she wasn't really all 01:25:58.080 --> 01:25:59.280 that attractive. 01:25:59.280 --> 01:26:02.480 She probably was, but was she the most beautiful person on the 01:26:02.480 --> 01:26:04.640 planet? Whatever. 01:26:04.640 --> 01:26:09.600 Today, we all see people more beautiful than anything that would have 01:26:09.680 --> 01:26:11.920 p potentially existed in antiquity. 01:26:11.920 --> 01:26:16.880 Not necessarily because the people are actually that beautiful, but because lighting 01:26:16.880 --> 01:26:23.280 and makeup and digital alteration fabricate fake versions of human beings 01:26:24.240 --> 01:26:28.640 after starting with a human being who's so rare in terms of 01:26:28.640 --> 01:26:30.320 their relative beauty. 01:26:30.320 --> 01:26:35.440 And physical beauty is not only subjective, it's also objective I think 01:26:35.440 --> 01:26:39.840 we we talked about in a previous episode the factors of symmetry 01:26:39.920 --> 01:26:44.800 and actually the the um golden ratio itself and the proportions of 01:26:44.800 --> 01:26:48.080 a face and a body go directly to the beauty of a 01:26:48.080 --> 01:26:55.040 person. You can mathematically demonstrate how close someone's visual appearance is to 01:26:55.360 --> 01:26:57.920 an ideal mathematical form. 01:26:57.920 --> 01:27:00.880 And the closer it is to that, the more attractive they are. 01:27:00.880 --> 01:27:05.360 So all these alterations make someone who's, A, they're not your neighbor, 01:27:05.360 --> 01:27:06.480 they're someone remote. 01:27:06.480 --> 01:27:10.320 In most cases, particularly with poor, they're probably the victims of sex 01:27:10.320 --> 01:27:14.800 trafficking. So you're participating in multiple levels of evil at that point. 01:27:15.440 --> 01:27:19.120 But then you're looking at people far away who have been altered 01:27:19.120 --> 01:27:22.160 in ways that make them no longer human. 01:27:22.400 --> 01:27:28.080 they uh they're they're a doppelganger representation of frankly a p in 01:27:28.240 --> 01:27:32.640 most cases today a a pretty disgusting version of beauty that we've 01:27:32.640 --> 01:27:37.120 been taught by media and you know who controls the media to 01:27:37.120 --> 01:27:38.720 say, Oh yeah, that's that's great. 01:27:38.720 --> 01:27:41.360 You know, we see so many young girls now getting a lip 01:27:41.360 --> 01:27:43.680 filler. it's revolting. 01:27:43.840 --> 01:27:51.040 it turns them into goblins, beautiful faces, turned into hideous inhuman 01:27:51.040 --> 01:27:53.360 things that are on suddenly on the wrong side of the uncanny 01:27:53.920 --> 01:28:00.000 Valley because so-called doctors are butchering their faces to chase these artificial 01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:03.200 ideas of beauty that no one on of their own accord would 01:28:03.360 --> 01:28:05.200 would reach. 01:28:05.200 --> 01:28:10.640 So even just looking at these sorts of things fundamentally distorts our 01:28:10.640 --> 01:28:13.440 view of the people we actually see around us. 01:28:13.440 --> 01:28:16.480 If you're you know, if you spend all your time watching movies 01:28:16.480 --> 01:28:20.400 or TV or something, it until recently, it was always going to 01:28:20.400 --> 01:28:21.840 be some of the hottest people. 01:28:21.840 --> 01:28:26.880 Today they're abnormally unattractive, which is itself another form of assault. 01:28:27.040 --> 01:28:27.360 But 01:28:28.640 --> 01:28:35.280 these unnatural experiences, including porn, including seeing intimate things that you should 01:28:35.280 --> 01:28:38.640 only ever see, much of it should never be seen by any 01:28:39.120 --> 01:28:42.320 because so many things that are done are unnatural. 01:28:42.640 --> 01:28:45.280 they're disordered and evil. 01:28:45.280 --> 01:28:51.120 But even just absolutely normal, appropriate sexual activity, you should only see 01:28:51.120 --> 01:28:54.880 that if you're seeing it in first person with your wife. 01:28:54.880 --> 01:28:55.200 And 01:28:56.480 --> 01:29:01.120 divorcing any aspect of any of this from the reality of one 01:29:01.120 --> 01:29:05.360 man and one woman brought together by God makes it all worse. 01:29:05.360 --> 01:29:09.440 But it makes it worse in ways that can often become inescapable. 01:29:10.560 --> 01:29:14.880 You know, we we talked about the pill destroying girls' bodies, destroying 01:29:14.880 --> 01:29:18.480 their ability to be attracted to a man or to to um 01:29:18.800 --> 01:29:20.720 gestate correctly. 01:29:20.720 --> 01:29:25.680 Porn absolutely destroys a man's ability to function sexually. 01:29:25.680 --> 01:29:30.320 It's a very, very common complaint among girls today that guys who 01:29:30.320 --> 01:29:36.160 have become habituated and addicted to viewing pornography can no no longer 01:29:36.160 --> 01:29:40.240 function sexually in some cases it may take a while to go 01:29:40.240 --> 01:29:43.280 away, in some cases it may never go away, because you're you're 01:29:43.280 --> 01:29:46.400 functionally burning out a part of your brain that was never supposed 01:29:46.400 --> 01:29:48.240 to be burned out in the first place. 01:29:48.560 --> 01:29:52.560 when you have a naturally properly ordered marriage with an a woman 01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:55.360 or a man, you don't burn out. 01:29:55.360 --> 01:30:00.080 You have all things in moderation and you enjoy them fruitfully and 01:30:00.080 --> 01:30:02.640 with each other and there's no burnout. 01:30:03.280 --> 01:30:06.240 you can't you know, unless she's you know, cooking way too much 01:30:06.240 --> 01:30:07.760 good food and you get fat. 01:30:07.760 --> 01:30:10.400 But she has an incentive not to make you fat because sh 01:30:10.480 --> 01:30:12.640 she she doesn't want to look at you being fat. 01:30:12.640 --> 01:30:18.000 So, you know, there there's always a mutually reinforcing aspect to an 01:30:18.000 --> 01:30:22.480 actual real relationship, and it completely vanishes when you're looking in the 01:30:22.480 --> 01:30:24.960 image of someone who's not even real. 01:30:25.520 --> 01:30:28.640 I want to read the verse that I mentioned earlier because I 01:30:29.040 --> 01:30:32.160 think it's important to read the actual words of scripture, not just 01:30:32.160 --> 01:30:36.400 mention them, so that those who know what I'm referencing know the 01:30:36.400 --> 01:30:38.640 verse, but I mentioned 01:30:39.600 --> 01:30:43.040 having a wife and the wife not withholding from her husband, the 01:30:43.040 --> 01:30:46.080 husband not withholding from his wife, and that is of course first 01:30:46.240 --> 01:30:51.760 Corinthians. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should 01:30:51.760 --> 01:30:54.800 have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 01:30:54.800 --> 01:30:58.400 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise 01:30:58.400 --> 01:31:00.080 the wife to her husband. 01:31:00.320 --> 01:31:03.360 the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the 01:31:03.360 --> 01:31:04.560 husband does. 01:31:04.560 --> 01:31:08.240 Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but 01:31:08.240 --> 01:31:09.440 the wife does. 01:31:09.440 --> 01:31:14.240 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited 01:31:14.240 --> 01:31:18.400 time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together 01:31:18.400 --> 01:31:21.760 again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack 01:31:21.760 --> 01:31:24.160 of self control. 01:31:24.160 --> 01:31:28.800 And so scripture's incredibly clear that sex is part of marriage, and 01:31:28.800 --> 01:31:31.760 it's not a part of marriage that is optional. 01:31:31.760 --> 01:31:35.120 As we've mentioned before, it is in fact the definition of marriage 01:31:35.200 --> 01:31:38.800 because marriage has to be consummated. 01:31:38.800 --> 01:31:44.320 I would also like to emphasize something that Wo said previously about 01:31:44.640 --> 01:31:48.560 singleness in particular. 01:31:48.560 --> 01:31:53.120 For those pastors and teachers out there or others, anyone in a 01:31:53.120 --> 01:31:57.280 position of authority, or really even if you aren't in a position 01:31:57.280 --> 01:32:00.080 of authority, if you've just put this out there, if you've repeated 01:32:00.080 --> 01:32:05.360 this lie, if you have said that singleness is a blessing, you 01:32:05.360 --> 01:32:11.520 need to publicly recant that, because that is false. 01:32:11.520 --> 01:32:13.840 Celibacy is a blessing. 01:32:14.240 --> 01:32:18.080 Now is it conceivable that God could use singleness as a blessing 01:32:18.080 --> 01:32:19.200 for a season? 01:32:19.200 --> 01:32:23.760 Absolutely. But blessing by and large 01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:28.320 is something that is Something that is in accord with God's ordering 01:32:28.480 --> 01:32:33.440 of things, and singleness is not, as this verse makes clear. 01:32:33.440 --> 01:32:38.240 Each man should have his own wife, each woman should have her 01:32:38.240 --> 01:32:39.360 own husband. 01:32:39.360 --> 01:32:41.360 That is the natural order of things. 01:32:41.360 --> 01:32:42.800 That is what God intends. 01:32:42.800 --> 01:32:46.160 He made them man and woman. 01:32:46.160 --> 01:32:49.840 We have many verses about that, starting with Genesis 2. 01:32:49.840 --> 01:32:52.400 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold 01:32:52.400 --> 01:32:55.440 fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh, this runs 01:32:55.440 --> 01:32:57.120 throughout scripture. 01:32:57.120 --> 01:33:00.640 And so singleness when you describe it, in terms of being some 01:33:00.640 --> 01:33:03.920 sort of great blessing, you are lying about God and His Word, 01:33:03.920 --> 01:33:07.840 and you are doing very real harm, particularly to the young men 01:33:07.840 --> 01:33:11.280 and women who are single and very much do not wish to 01:33:11.280 --> 01:33:12.480 be so. 01:33:12.480 --> 01:33:16.160 And so if you hold to that position. 01:33:16.640 --> 01:33:19.760 I certainly hope that God does something that will make it so 01:33:19.760 --> 01:33:23.680 that you are no longer able to teach that false doctrine, up 01:33:23.680 --> 01:33:26.800 to it including striking you mute and having your teeth right out 01:33:26.800 --> 01:33:28.560 of your head. 01:33:28.560 --> 01:33:32.000 Because there should be very real consequences for false teachers who teach 01:33:32.000 --> 01:33:34.160 these sorts of evil things. 01:33:34.160 --> 01:33:38.800 And personally I am sick of hearing that one. 01:33:38.800 --> 01:33:42.320 Not personally as in in reference to me, but personally sick of 01:33:42.400 --> 01:33:46.720 hearing it with regard to other young men because these are young 01:33:46.720 --> 01:33:51.440 men who have very real problems, who are facing a world that 01:33:51.440 --> 01:33:53.360 is stacked against them. 01:33:53.360 --> 01:33:56.880 And then they have teachers and those in positions of authority and 01:33:57.280 --> 01:34:04.080 worse pastors in many cases, saying these incredibly wicked and harmful things. 01:34:04.160 --> 01:34:08.960 Apparently some pastors, teachers, and others should think long and hard about 01:34:08.960 --> 01:34:11.680 the stricter judgment. 01:34:11.840 --> 01:34:15.040 One of the last passages I wanted to get into was from 01:34:15.040 --> 01:34:17.840 first Peter three. 01:34:17.840 --> 01:34:21.680 Likewise, wives, be subject to your husbands, so that even if some 01:34:21.680 --> 01:34:24.480 do not obey the word, they may be one without a word 01:34:24.480 --> 01:34:27.840 by the conduct of their wives, when they see you respectful and 01:34:27.840 --> 01:34:31.840 pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of 01:34:31.840 --> 01:34:34.560 hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you 01:34:34.560 --> 01:34:37.840 wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart 01:34:37.920 --> 01:34:41.600 with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in 01:34:41.600 --> 01:34:43.520 God's sight is very precious. 01:34:43.520 --> 01:34:46.400 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used 01:34:46.400 --> 01:34:50.800 to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, is Sarah obeyed 01:34:50.800 --> 01:34:54.880 Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children, if you do 01:34:54.880 --> 01:34:57.440 good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 01:34:57.440 --> 01:35:01.840 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor 01:35:01.920 --> 01:35:05.120 to the woman in the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with 01:35:05.120 --> 01:35:07.840 you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not 01:35:07.840 --> 01:35:09.840 be hindered. 01:35:10.080 --> 01:35:13.600 I think this is another small example of something that this is 01:35:13.600 --> 01:35:16.000 not a passage that's just for okay once you're married, but 01:35:17.120 --> 01:35:21.760 for a young man if you're looking for girls, I don't think 01:35:21.760 --> 01:35:25.840 that we necessarily need to treat this as never adorning yourself in 01:35:25.840 --> 01:35:29.040 any sort of fine clothing because there are many examples in scripture 01:35:29.040 --> 01:35:31.760 where that is a a godly and upright thing. 01:35:31.760 --> 01:35:35.200 You know, the discussions of marriage feasts, wedding feasts and other sorts 01:35:35.200 --> 01:35:36.480 of celebrations 01:35:37.600 --> 01:35:42.400 adorning in beautiful fashion is not idolatrous. 01:35:42.400 --> 01:35:44.720 It can be a celebration. 01:35:44.720 --> 01:35:49.280 However, it's very common, again, because of the depraved culture in which 01:35:49.280 --> 01:35:52.720 we live, for particularly girls to be 01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:56.000 to see a fashion as identity. 01:35:56.000 --> 01:35:59.440 You know, just as uh guys you young guys especially have the 01:35:59.600 --> 01:36:05.520 the problem of and you fall into complete irony or wisecracking or 01:36:06.400 --> 01:36:09.520 blackpilling or complaining or whatever. 01:36:09.520 --> 01:36:13.440 Emotional responses to things are not a personality. 01:36:13.440 --> 01:36:15.840 A personality is more than just 01:36:16.800 --> 01:36:22.320 a reactive knee jerk response to, you know, some social input. 01:36:22.320 --> 01:36:27.360 Girls need to be the sort of human beings who do not 01:36:27.360 --> 01:36:30.160 see their clothing as their personality. 01:36:30.160 --> 01:36:31.760 On top of not being 01:36:32.960 --> 01:36:38.480 giving the the exhibition of of promiscuous sexual behavior, you know, she 01:36:38.480 --> 01:36:41.040 should be dressed in a chaste way. 01:36:41.040 --> 01:36:44.400 But you also don't want a girl who's caked in makeup and 01:36:44.400 --> 01:36:49.200 is always always dressed to the nines because that sort of person 01:36:49.440 --> 01:36:49.760 is 01:36:51.680 --> 01:36:55.200 she's going down a path where look at me, look at me 01:36:55.600 --> 01:36:59.200 is more important than who she is inwardly. 01:36:59.200 --> 01:37:03.680 And, you know, makeup is a as a small example, but I 01:37:03.680 --> 01:37:08.320 would put makeup up there almost on the same level as as 01:37:08.320 --> 01:37:10.240 the pill. 01:37:10.480 --> 01:37:13.440 You know, I've I know guys who when they early on when 01:37:13.440 --> 01:37:15.920 they met their wives are like, I don't I don't want to 01:37:15.920 --> 01:37:17.440 see you in makeup. 01:37:17.440 --> 01:37:24.000 An attractive girl doesn't need or use a bunch of that crap. 01:37:25.440 --> 01:37:29.840 it's another one of those memes that was frankly introduced into well 01:37:29.920 --> 01:37:32.720 it it's been around for a long time, obviously they're examples from 01:37:32.720 --> 01:37:38.320 antiquity of of makeup being used, but it's notable that they were 01:37:38.320 --> 01:37:44.400 almost always used in profane fashions or just as as idolatrous fashion. 01:37:44.400 --> 01:37:48.480 Yeah, either directly as part of some ceremonial evil or just as 01:37:48.480 --> 01:37:52.560 a part of a culture that was itself just kind of ambiently 01:37:52.560 --> 01:37:57.040 evil. It's not that a girl who's ever worn makeup is out 01:37:57.040 --> 01:37:59.840 of the cards, but hey, you want to see what she looks 01:37:59.840 --> 01:38:04.480 like without makeup because makeup can completely transform a face. 01:38:04.480 --> 01:38:07.200 And you may think you're looking at one person. 01:38:07.200 --> 01:38:11.600 And when you see her without makeup, she's a completely different person. 01:38:11.600 --> 01:38:14.400 Maybe you find one attractive and you find the other one completely 01:38:14.400 --> 01:38:15.840 unattractive. And 01:38:16.880 --> 01:38:20.640 You should know which is which before you marry her, because that's 01:38:20.640 --> 01:38:23.680 you have every right to know whom you're marrying. 01:38:23.680 --> 01:38:23.920 So 01:38:24.160 --> 01:38:25.120 it's a small thing, 01:38:25.120 --> 01:38:28.560 but it's one of those things that you know ideally it really 01:38:28.560 --> 01:38:29.600 shouldn't even exist. 01:38:29.600 --> 01:38:32.720 And you know we there's talk of natural beauty and it's a 01:38:32.720 --> 01:38:33.840 real thing. 01:38:33.920 --> 01:38:40.160 Someone who someone who's living a chaste and wholesome life, who's happy, 01:38:40.160 --> 01:38:45.040 who's at peace with God is genuinely more attractive. 01:38:45.040 --> 01:38:49.680 And someone who has to resort to this sort of trickery usually 01:38:49.680 --> 01:38:54.160 is again they're usually engaging in some degree of self loathing. 01:38:54.160 --> 01:38:56.160 It's certainly deceitful. 01:38:56.160 --> 01:39:00.800 And it's often you know maybe it's just low self esteem. 01:39:00.800 --> 01:39:02.480 It's not at all irredeemable. 01:39:02.480 --> 01:39:03.760 Sometimes it it 01:39:04.720 --> 01:39:06.800 tends towards self hatred. 01:39:06.800 --> 01:39:08.960 And that's usually when you see not only 01:39:10.000 --> 01:39:14.880 egregious amounts of makeup, but also tons of piercings, tattoos, like all 01:39:14.880 --> 01:39:20.880 these things that are physically altering the appearance of a girl away 01:39:20.880 --> 01:39:22.240 from what God made. 01:39:22.240 --> 01:39:25.040 God made one thing, and then they go in a completely different 01:39:25.040 --> 01:39:27.360 direction. That's not a good sign. 01:39:27.360 --> 01:39:31.840 A girl or a man should become more himself in God in 01:39:31.920 --> 01:39:35.440 as he lives his life or her life, we should become more 01:39:35.440 --> 01:39:37.360 of what God wants and not less. 01:39:37.360 --> 01:39:39.920 And when we flee from the bodies that he gave us and 01:39:39.920 --> 01:39:43.360 the faces that he gave us, if you want to improve your 01:39:43.360 --> 01:39:45.360 body, men lift weights. 01:39:45.360 --> 01:39:48.320 I can tell you in particular if you're young men, start lifting 01:39:48.320 --> 01:39:49.600 now. The younger the better. 01:39:49.600 --> 01:39:53.120 Like I you know, there's there's a minimum age beneath which it 01:39:53.120 --> 01:39:56.240 may not be good for you related to growth plates, but by 01:39:56.240 --> 01:39:58.720 the time you're fifteen, sixteen, you absolutely should be doing a lot 01:39:58.880 --> 01:39:58.960 of 01:40:00.160 --> 01:40:02.080 vigorous physical exercise. 01:40:02.080 --> 01:40:04.560 Because I can tell you as an older guy, the muscle that 01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:08.560 you gain when you're 15, 20, you keep very easily the rest 01:40:08.560 --> 01:40:09.680 of your life. 01:40:09.680 --> 01:40:12.640 Muscle you gain when you're in your 30s, you go to work 01:40:12.800 --> 01:40:13.600 or it goes away. 01:40:13.600 --> 01:40:14.960 It's not free anymore. 01:40:14.960 --> 01:40:16.640 It it's remarkable. 01:40:16.640 --> 01:40:18.640 I used to I was a paperboy. 01:40:18.640 --> 01:40:21.760 I I pedaled six days a week, 90 minutes a day up 01:40:21.760 --> 01:40:23.520 and down some pretty serious hills. 01:40:23.520 --> 01:40:28.000 My thighs are really strong and they've stayed strong despite not doing 01:40:28.000 --> 01:40:29.440 anything particular with them. 01:40:29.440 --> 01:40:33.920 That muscle I basically just got for free as a kid accidentally. 01:40:33.920 --> 01:40:36.880 Do the work now, put in the work now, and you will 01:40:36.880 --> 01:40:39.280 have a much easier life when you're older. 01:40:39.360 --> 01:40:40.800 Because strength is good. 01:40:40.800 --> 01:40:43.520 Strength is is something that God commends. 01:40:43.520 --> 01:40:46.880 It makes your life easier, makes you more attractive, makes you more 01:40:46.880 --> 01:40:50.400 confident. And for young men, I think that's a big part of 01:40:50.400 --> 01:40:50.960 this is that 01:40:51.920 --> 01:40:55.280 finding confidence when you necessarily don't have a lot of reasons for 01:40:55.280 --> 01:40:59.200 it, especially when you're young, is one of the hardest hurdles to 01:40:59.200 --> 01:41:03.600 feel like you have something worth sharing with a girl. 01:41:03.600 --> 01:41:08.240 There's a there's a fundamental difference between the way girls view mate 01:41:08.320 --> 01:41:09.440 selection and guys. 01:41:09.440 --> 01:41:13.040 Guys want to be worth a girl wanting them. 01:41:13.040 --> 01:41:17.040 And girls, you know, today are effectively the choosers. 01:41:17.040 --> 01:41:20.160 And that's it affects everything in our lives. 01:41:20.160 --> 01:41:23.920 And when when May selection is running properly, you know, when the 01:41:23.920 --> 01:41:28.320 community, when parents are involved and the inputs, when the young man, 01:41:28.320 --> 01:41:31.200 the young woman are chaste and they're doing the right things or 01:41:31.200 --> 01:41:38.400 trying to, that reinforcement of wholesomeness just takes off and it's great. 01:41:39.280 --> 01:41:43.120 Unfortunately today we're living in a world where everything seems to be 01:41:43.120 --> 01:41:44.640 set against us. 01:41:44.640 --> 01:41:47.200 But one thing that you can do as a young man is 01:41:47.680 --> 01:41:51.280 just build something, build yourself into something and 01:41:52.160 --> 01:41:56.080 trust in God to deliver in his time a girl who will 01:41:56.080 --> 01:42:00.560 like who you are, who will love who you are, because that's 01:42:00.560 --> 01:42:01.120 what you need. 01:42:01.120 --> 01:42:02.560 It's what you know you need. 01:42:02.720 --> 01:42:07.280 I think the the biggest hurdle for guys dealing with being alone 01:42:07.760 --> 01:42:08.560 is that 01:42:10.000 --> 01:42:13.280 There's an inherently ironic tension between 01:42:15.040 --> 01:42:17.600 the thing that you want as a young man more than anything 01:42:17.600 --> 01:42:21.440 else is to to have a girl, to have someone to love, 01:42:21.440 --> 01:42:26.560 and to be the man that she wants that she wants, period. 01:42:26.560 --> 01:42:30.240 The problem with that, and the the reason I used irony correctly, 01:42:30.240 --> 01:42:34.240 I hope here is that if she can smell, if she can 01:42:34.240 --> 01:42:38.240 instinctually detect that the thing that you want more than anything is 01:42:38.240 --> 01:42:41.840 to have a girl or for especially for it to be her, 01:42:41.840 --> 01:42:43.920 that's inherently repellent. 01:42:43.920 --> 01:42:46.720 Oh it's completely insane, it's completely backwards. 01:42:46.720 --> 01:42:49.600 But the very thing that's the most important to you, if you 01:42:49.600 --> 01:42:54.640 let it come across as anything remotely like desperation, it becomes repulsive. 01:42:54.640 --> 01:42:58.480 And so while it's a properly ordered desire for you to want 01:42:58.480 --> 01:43:04.640 a girl to want a wife, it is counterproductive if that becomes 01:43:04.960 --> 01:43:07.840 a conscious aspect of how you conduct yourself. 01:43:07.840 --> 01:43:11.200 You can shape yourself into a man that you want to be, 01:43:11.200 --> 01:43:14.160 that you want, you know is God pleasing, and will please a 01:43:14.160 --> 01:43:15.200 wife at some point. 01:43:15.200 --> 01:43:18.880 But if everything that you do is focused entirely on I hope 01:43:18.880 --> 01:43:21.600 she likes me, I hope she sees this. 01:43:21.600 --> 01:43:24.720 She might see it, but I promise you she will not like 01:43:24.720 --> 01:43:27.200 it. If it's cruel and it's completely backwards. 01:43:27.600 --> 01:43:31.360 it's one of the most insane things about human existence, but it's 01:43:31.360 --> 01:43:33.040 an immutable law. 01:43:33.040 --> 01:43:36.720 And it's a tough thing for guys to get over, but the 01:43:36.720 --> 01:43:41.360 simple rule is have some confidence, even if it's even if it's 01:43:41.360 --> 01:43:45.520 hallucinatory for a time, and relax. 01:43:45.520 --> 01:43:48.480 Be happy and confident in who you are, even if you're just 01:43:48.480 --> 01:43:49.360 a goofball. 01:43:49.360 --> 01:43:52.880 I don't go overboard with being goofy, but be confident in who 01:43:52.880 --> 01:43:55.680 you are, and that itself becomes appealing. 01:43:55.680 --> 01:43:59.360 And if you can just set aside the the intense desire to 01:43:59.360 --> 01:44:04.800 not be alone, that is how you actually satisfy that that desire. 01:44:04.800 --> 01:44:05.040 I 01:44:05.040 --> 01:44:10.240 was tempted to add Proverbs 31, because of course it fits here. 01:44:10.240 --> 01:44:13.840 But one, we've already moved into the the end of this episode 01:44:14.000 --> 01:44:17.200 and describing some of the ways, some of the practical things for 01:44:17.200 --> 01:44:20.960 young men to do, young men in particular to do, to aid 01:44:20.960 --> 01:44:25.280 in finding a wife and just really living life. 01:44:25.280 --> 01:44:29.200 But I think instead I'll recommend go listen to episode twenty two 01:44:29.280 --> 01:44:34.640 that includes reading Proverbs thirty one in that episode. 01:44:34.640 --> 01:44:39.440 But we already went over some of the major issues here avoid 01:44:39.680 --> 01:44:43.200 pornography develop an actual personality 01:44:44.080 --> 01:44:47.280 that should go without saying, but really it does need to be 01:44:47.280 --> 01:44:50.880 repeated. You need to have an actual personality. 01:44:50.880 --> 01:44:52.640 Not just things that you hate. 01:44:52.640 --> 01:44:54.640 Don't make that your personality. 01:44:54.640 --> 01:44:58.960 That will make everyone want to avoid you. 01:44:59.200 --> 01:45:03.920 on a purely practical note, not just lifting weights, do some exercise, 01:45:03.920 --> 01:45:06.560 and I'm going to remind everyone don't forget cardio. 01:45:06.560 --> 01:45:10.480 You actually do need your cardiovascular system, or you're not going to 01:45:10.480 --> 01:45:12.720 have a particularly good go of things. 01:45:13.920 --> 01:45:15.760 Get a hobby. 01:45:15.760 --> 01:45:18.960 It almost doesn't matter what the hobby is. 01:45:18.960 --> 01:45:22.320 I am going to recommend you not get obsessed with Star Wars 01:45:22.320 --> 01:45:25.200 or Star Trek, probably not the best hobby. 01:45:25.200 --> 01:45:29.680 Men who do that tend to start building weird shrines. 01:45:29.680 --> 01:45:34.560 But whatever the hobby happens to be, if it's painting miniatures, fine, 01:45:34.560 --> 01:45:36.320 do that, great. 01:45:36.320 --> 01:45:41.120 Maybe also transform what you learn from the hobby into something practical 01:45:41.120 --> 01:45:41.600 as well. 01:45:41.600 --> 01:45:44.960 Maybe take up a little bit of woodworking along with it, because 01:45:44.960 --> 01:45:47.600 you've already learned the painting part. 01:45:47.600 --> 01:45:50.320 But it's important for men to have a hobby. 01:45:50.320 --> 01:45:53.760 You need some sort of outlet, something into which you can pour 01:45:53.920 --> 01:45:56.080 some energy and time. 01:45:56.080 --> 01:46:00.160 And it helps along with women as well, because then you will 01:46:00.160 --> 01:46:01.200 have something to discuss. 01:46:01.360 --> 01:46:05.360 discuss I not saying talk to her about the details of every 01:46:05.360 --> 01:46:08.320 miniature that you have in your collection. 01:46:08.320 --> 01:46:10.560 Some women will enjoy that, some won't. 01:46:10.560 --> 01:46:13.120 You have to be able to gauge that for yourself. 01:46:13.120 --> 01:46:17.520 But it makes you more interesting if you have things in your 01:46:17.520 --> 01:46:22.240 life that do not involve her, that don't involve any women. 01:46:22.240 --> 01:46:26.080 Because they're things in your life that you're doing because you want 01:46:26.080 --> 01:46:26.960 to do then. 01:46:26.960 --> 01:46:30.000 That is attractive to women. 01:46:30.000 --> 01:46:30.320 But 01:46:32.880 --> 01:46:37.760 insofar as the practical advice goes, one of the things that I 01:46:37.760 --> 01:46:41.200 continually recommend, and I think it is one of the best and 01:46:41.200 --> 01:46:45.680 easiest things you can do simply to feel a little better, is 01:46:45.680 --> 01:46:49.440 go for a walk every day. 01:46:49.440 --> 01:46:53.360 Just go for a short walk every single day, twenty, thirty minute 01:46:53.360 --> 01:46:55.920 walk. If you have a dog, great. 01:46:55.920 --> 01:46:57.760 If you don't have a dog, fine. 01:46:57.760 --> 01:47:00.800 Go walk by yourself, walk with a neighbor, whatever it happens to 01:47:00.800 --> 01:47:04.400 be. It gets you outside, it gets you a little cardio, it 01:47:04.400 --> 01:47:08.160 gets you some exercise, you will feel better if you do this. 01:47:08.160 --> 01:47:10.720 It It absolutely works. 01:47:10.720 --> 01:47:14.160 All of the research shows this is a good thing for you. 01:47:14.160 --> 01:47:17.680 Anyone to whom you talk who has picked up this hobby will 01:47:17.680 --> 01:47:20.560 tell you this helps. 01:47:20.560 --> 01:47:23.600 And sometimes it is the simple things in life that help. 01:47:23.600 --> 01:47:27.360 God created a beautiful world, and it's outside your window. 01:47:27.360 --> 01:47:30.480 Don't spend all your time inside, particularly in a dark room. 01:47:30.480 --> 01:47:33.040 Go outside, get some sunlight, go for a walk, get a little 01:47:33.040 --> 01:47:35.200 cardio. You will feel better. 01:47:36.080 --> 01:47:40.880 And in the same vein of very simple advice, drink some water. 01:47:40.880 --> 01:47:44.160 You're probably dehydrated, particularly if you've picked up the bad habit of 01:47:44.160 --> 01:47:46.560 drinking energy drinks. 01:47:46.560 --> 01:47:48.960 Hydration actually matters again. 01:47:48.960 --> 01:47:52.320 This is back to you're still a creature, you're still an animal. 01:47:52.320 --> 01:47:55.760 There are things you have to do to take care of yourself. 01:47:55.760 --> 01:47:57.840 These are some of the basics. 01:47:57.840 --> 01:48:01.680 These are things that your father, the authority figures in your life, 01:48:01.680 --> 01:48:05.040 should have taught you, should have helped you with these things. 01:48:05.040 --> 01:48:08.400 Maybe some of them did, great, maybe they didn't, which is more 01:48:08.400 --> 01:48:09.920 and more likely these days. 01:48:09.920 --> 01:48:11.840 You need to do it yourself. 01:48:11.920 --> 01:48:15.200 There's a wealth of resources for these things. 01:48:15.200 --> 01:48:20.880 You can improve your life and improve yourself, which will not only 01:48:20.880 --> 01:48:25.280 make you feel better, but will improve your odds of feeling a 01:48:25.280 --> 01:48:28.480 wife if that is what you were attempting to do. 01:48:28.480 --> 01:48:32.560 And I mentioned earlier that I would give some practical advice on 01:48:32.720 --> 01:48:35.760 the actual finding a wife part. 01:48:35.760 --> 01:48:38.640 In addition to the don't look at college, because that's probably not 01:48:38.640 --> 01:48:40.160 a good plan. 01:48:40.160 --> 01:48:43.120 And so for the fathers who were thinking I sent my daughter 01:48:43.120 --> 01:48:45.520 off to college to find a husband, no you didn't. 01:48:45.520 --> 01:48:48.160 And it's a bad plan if you did. 01:48:48.160 --> 01:48:51.280 But for the young men out there, if you're looking for a 01:48:51.280 --> 01:48:54.640 wife, go to the grocery store. 01:48:54.640 --> 01:48:56.720 Some of the cashiers are probably single. 01:48:56.720 --> 01:48:58.000 Go to a coffee shop. 01:48:58.000 --> 01:49:00.400 Some of the baristas are probably single. 01:49:00.400 --> 01:49:02.720 There are women all over the world. 01:49:03.840 --> 01:49:08.240 You don't have to go to a bar or a club or 01:49:08.240 --> 01:49:12.080 college or any of these places you're told you can find women 01:49:12.080 --> 01:49:13.840 there. Go to a bookstore. 01:49:13.840 --> 01:49:15.600 Go there and read for a while. 01:49:15.600 --> 01:49:18.000 See the women who walk in and out. 01:49:18.000 --> 01:49:22.160 There are plenty of places you can find women. 01:49:22.160 --> 01:49:26.640 And this leads into some of the most important advice for some 01:49:26.640 --> 01:49:29.120 of the young men in the audience. 01:49:29.120 --> 01:49:33.040 You need to be comfortable with rejection. 01:49:33.040 --> 01:49:37.440 Now I know that social anxiety is rampant in the Zoomer generation 01:49:37.440 --> 01:49:40.720 and younger, and quite frankly, millennials are pretty bad about it as 01:49:40.720 --> 01:49:43.360 well. Try ringing the doorbell for a millennial. 01:49:43.360 --> 01:49:48.160 Good luck getting someone to actually answer. 01:49:48.160 --> 01:49:50.400 But you need to get over it. 01:49:50.400 --> 01:49:52.880 That's the long and the short of it. 01:49:52.880 --> 01:49:55.840 It's blunt, but it's true. 01:49:55.840 --> 01:49:59.280 Practice. Go up to a woman, ask for a number. 01:49:59.280 --> 01:50:03.360 If she says no, okay, that's one woman out of there are 01:50:03.520 --> 01:50:06.800 three hundred million people in this country. 01:50:06.800 --> 01:50:09.840 So about half are women? 01:50:09.840 --> 01:50:13.040 Some forty percent of that. 01:50:13.040 --> 01:50:14.960 Probably about the age range for you. 01:50:14.960 --> 01:50:18.240 Okay, so one out of tens of millions of potential women told 01:50:18.240 --> 01:50:19.200 you no. 01:50:19.200 --> 01:50:20.880 That's not the end of the world. 01:50:20.880 --> 01:50:23.360 Get over it, try again. 01:50:23.520 --> 01:50:26.800 That's how you do things, and you know what's great about it? 01:50:26.800 --> 01:50:29.680 If you take it the right way, when you're rejected, and you 01:50:29.680 --> 01:50:32.000 will be rejected, it doesn't matter if you're the most attractive man 01:50:32.000 --> 01:50:35.840 on the planet, and have millions of dollars, some women still won't 01:50:35.840 --> 01:50:37.440 like you. 01:50:37.440 --> 01:50:41.360 If you're rejected and you take it the right way, it gets 01:50:41.360 --> 01:50:45.040 easier to approach women in the future. 01:50:45.040 --> 01:50:47.280 And so each time you do that, it's easier. 01:50:47.680 --> 01:50:50.320 You are building up that confidence that you need. 01:50:50.320 --> 01:50:53.360 And yes, you can build confidence off of being rejected because you 01:50:53.360 --> 01:50:55.760 are getting more comfortable with yourself. 01:50:55.760 --> 01:50:57.040 And that shows 01:50:58.000 --> 01:51:02.640 women are more likely to respond positively when you are comfortable with 01:51:02.640 --> 01:51:06.160 yourself. And that takes practice. 01:51:06.160 --> 01:51:09.920 Because you probably didn't develop that growing up, and you need to 01:51:09.920 --> 01:51:12.000 develop it now. 01:51:12.240 --> 01:51:14.960 And the common thread in both of those things you just mentioned, 01:51:14.960 --> 01:51:20.080 you know, approaching girls cold and going for a walk, is that 01:51:20.560 --> 01:51:23.120 it involves relaxation. 01:51:23.120 --> 01:51:26.400 It is weird as that may sound, but if you are relaxed 01:51:26.720 --> 01:51:30.320 in doing things like walking, it relaxes you being in nature. 01:51:30.320 --> 01:51:34.800 Actually, it changes your blood pressure, it changes everything about your body, 01:51:34.800 --> 01:51:37.200 even thirty minutes a day. 01:51:37.200 --> 01:51:41.840 When you are more relaxed, it's not off-putting. 01:51:41.840 --> 01:51:45.840 If you're a ball of tension, if if you seem wound up 01:51:46.000 --> 01:51:49.680 and you seem like someone who's on the verge of something, when 01:51:49.680 --> 01:51:53.280 you speak to someone, that comes through, even if it's deep down 01:51:53.280 --> 01:51:58.080 inside you, if that's your internal state, girls especially can sniff that 01:51:58.080 --> 01:52:01.520 sort of thing out because they have they have more finely tuned 01:52:01.520 --> 01:52:03.200 social senses than men. 01:52:03.200 --> 01:52:05.760 Yeah, and you have two groups of people, a bunch of men 01:52:05.760 --> 01:52:06.720 and a bunch of women. 01:52:06.720 --> 01:52:10.080 The women are always going to do a better job at teasing 01:52:10.080 --> 01:52:14.080 out the hidden reefs, the the things that are hidden, the the 01:52:14.080 --> 01:52:17.440 motivations, whatever's going on, they're going to tend to do a better 01:52:17.440 --> 01:52:20.640 job. Because for them it's not rational. 01:52:20.640 --> 01:52:23.200 They're not they're not thinking things through. 01:52:23.200 --> 01:52:25.280 They're intuiting those things. 01:52:25.280 --> 01:52:29.600 Then they're they're figuring it out just by raw instinct. 01:52:29.760 --> 01:52:32.960 And so when you're relaxed, especially if if you if you go 01:52:32.960 --> 01:52:35.040 up to a girl and you know try to strike up a 01:52:35.040 --> 01:52:40.080 conversation, if you the hard thing is not caring if she cares. 01:52:40.720 --> 01:52:44.080 So you see a girl, you want to talk to her. 01:52:44.320 --> 01:52:46.800 The fact that you talk to her is driven by the fact 01:52:46.800 --> 01:52:49.680 that you want to talk to her. 01:52:49.680 --> 01:52:52.480 And yet it can't come across that you want to talk to 01:52:52.480 --> 01:52:54.480 her. Like it's stupid and insane. 01:52:54.480 --> 01:52:57.760 But the worst thing you can do is make her think you're 01:52:57.920 --> 01:52:59.920 wound up like I I gotta talk to her. 01:52:59.920 --> 01:53:01.120 I hope she likes me. 01:53:01.120 --> 01:53:03.920 That sh it that's completely repellent. 01:53:03.920 --> 01:53:07.120 If you are relaxed to the point that she's like, I wonder 01:53:07.120 --> 01:53:10.640 if he even cares, even when you approached her, that is when 01:53:10.640 --> 01:53:12.640 she's going to find you more interesting. 01:53:12.640 --> 01:53:15.600 Again, it's it it's counterintuitive. 01:53:16.080 --> 01:53:19.600 it's a pain in the butt, but it's how we're wired. 01:53:19.600 --> 01:53:22.480 And so God gave us resilience. 01:53:22.480 --> 01:53:26.000 Men are the tough ones when it comes to this stuff. 01:53:26.000 --> 01:53:30.080 I mean it's recently it it's a tragic trope that's come about 01:53:30.240 --> 01:53:35.200 is sex reassignment surgery and these these especially girls who are trying 01:53:35.600 --> 01:53:36.640 to live as men 01:53:38.560 --> 01:53:39.760 freak out. 01:53:40.080 --> 01:53:42.960 they think oh it's easy mode because the whole culture tells them, 01:53:42.960 --> 01:53:45.440 oh it's so much easier being a guy. 01:53:45.440 --> 01:53:49.520 They s now they suddenly look like a guy enough to pass, 01:53:49.520 --> 01:53:50.800 and you know what happens? 01:53:50.800 --> 01:53:53.200 They become completely invisible. 01:53:53.200 --> 01:53:58.480 And some of them are actually driven to suicide not even just 01:53:58.480 --> 01:54:01.280 by the fact that they're engaging in what we all know is 01:54:01.440 --> 01:54:05.120 destructive, but specifically the female to male 01:54:06.080 --> 01:54:08.560 to suddenly realize how hard it is to be a man to 01:54:08.800 --> 01:54:13.120 know you've effectively taken a one-way trip is overwhelming. 01:54:14.320 --> 01:54:21.200 the aloneness that a man naturally faces in the world is inconceivable 01:54:21.200 --> 01:54:22.000 to girls. 01:54:22.000 --> 01:54:25.040 They have no idea how hard it is to be us. 01:54:25.040 --> 01:54:28.320 And we just take it in stride because it's all we know. 01:54:28.320 --> 01:54:31.920 And so again, back to not blackpilling or being a whiner or 01:54:31.920 --> 01:54:35.600 blaming them, you have to be resilient, even if in the face 01:54:35.600 --> 01:54:37.600 of impossible odds. 01:54:37.600 --> 01:54:41.200 That sort of strength and relaxation, even when Even when it seems 01:54:41.200 --> 01:54:45.360 like everything is burning and everything is lost or hopeless or whatever, 01:54:45.360 --> 01:54:49.840 when you can still be a happy warrior when you face impossible 01:54:49.840 --> 01:54:53.360 odds, suddenly you become charming by that degree. 01:54:53.360 --> 01:54:56.480 Suddenly you become someone that men want to be and women want 01:54:56.480 --> 01:54:57.840 to be with. 01:54:57.840 --> 01:54:58.880 That's really 01:55:00.720 --> 01:55:04.800 kind of just generically the advice. 01:55:04.800 --> 01:55:07.360 And it's it's particularly hard for young guys 'cause you don't know 01:55:07.360 --> 01:55:08.000 who you are yet. 01:55:08.000 --> 01:55:10.080 You're s you're still figuring that out. 01:55:10.080 --> 01:55:12.320 And so when we say, you know, things like don't you know, 01:55:12.320 --> 01:55:17.520 don't let irony or or sarcasm or something become your personality, it's 01:55:17.520 --> 01:55:20.480 precisely because if if that's all you do, it's what you will 01:55:20.480 --> 01:55:23.520 become. And it's just is not interesting. 01:55:23.520 --> 01:55:27.200 And the nice thing about having hobbies and interests that have you 01:55:27.200 --> 01:55:31.520 know some general appeal is that another thing that girls are particular 01:55:32.080 --> 01:55:36.480 find very appealing is when a man has passion for something. 01:55:36.480 --> 01:55:39.120 Even if she's not interested in it, just the fact that you 01:55:39.120 --> 01:55:42.960 can be interested in something to a point is attractive. 01:55:42.960 --> 01:55:47.440 Now, if it becomes an obsession and it's your entire personality, then 01:55:47.440 --> 01:55:48.640 that's repulsive. 01:55:48.640 --> 01:55:51.120 And there's there's a lot of these things where it's like it's 01:55:51.120 --> 01:55:54.880 grayed up to a point, and then beyond that point, it becomes 01:55:54.880 --> 01:55:56.560 disgusting and repulsive. 01:55:56.560 --> 01:55:59.920 That's the reason that's a recurring theme is that that's really just 01:55:59.920 --> 01:56:01.600 how this stuff works. 01:56:01.600 --> 01:56:04.720 And nobody told me as a as a young man, I had 01:56:04.720 --> 01:56:07.840 to figure this crap out myself the hard way multiple times. 01:56:07.840 --> 01:56:10.880 And I made a lot of stupid and evil mistakes along the 01:56:10.880 --> 01:56:16.080 way. So So, you know, romantically, you look at my life and 01:56:16.080 --> 01:56:17.920 say that's a complete failure. 01:56:17.920 --> 01:56:21.040 Fine. I'm I'm done with that crap. 01:56:21.040 --> 01:56:25.920 And that's not me blackpilling, it's me realizing that having painted myself 01:56:26.240 --> 01:56:29.520 into a corner where I've personally screwed things up and at my 01:56:29.520 --> 01:56:32.000 age, this is now what I focus on. 01:56:32.000 --> 01:56:36.000 I focus on trying to help other men and trying to help 01:56:36.000 --> 01:56:40.640 build a a future for your children and for, you know, the 01:56:40.640 --> 01:56:44.960 world that I was born into and will leave nothing behind. 01:56:44.960 --> 01:56:47.360 That is my blessing from God. 01:56:47.360 --> 01:56:49.680 All the things that I've screwed up, all the mistakes that I've 01:56:49.680 --> 01:56:54.080 made in along all these lines, have given me the ability to 01:56:54.400 --> 01:56:56.560 do stuff that most guys can do. 01:56:56.560 --> 01:56:58.800 You know, I think one of the reasons that a lot of 01:56:58.800 --> 01:57:02.080 guys appreciate the work that we do is that frankly, Corey and 01:57:02.080 --> 01:57:06.160 I are able to say stuff publicly that most men still can't 01:57:06.160 --> 01:57:08.160 say because they'll get doxed and destroyed. 01:57:08.160 --> 01:57:10.000 And if you have a family or you want to have a 01:57:10.000 --> 01:57:12.560 family and you want to take care of your wife and kids, 01:57:12.560 --> 01:57:14.480 you probably can't say a lot of this stuff. 01:57:14.480 --> 01:57:17.280 You know, especially some of the recent episodes we've done. 01:57:17.280 --> 01:57:18.560 We can say it. 01:57:18.560 --> 01:57:23.040 And it's particularly because of the fact that, you know, it's not 01:57:23.040 --> 01:57:24.880 the blessing of singleness. 01:57:24.880 --> 01:57:28.240 It's just, okay, this is where we are. 01:57:28.240 --> 01:57:30.160 Here's what we're doing with it. 01:57:30.160 --> 01:57:32.880 I would never hold myself as a m up as a model 01:57:32.880 --> 01:57:33.680 for anything. 01:57:33.680 --> 01:57:35.520 I want anyone to emulate me. 01:57:35.520 --> 01:57:38.240 But I would hope that as we try to share some of 01:57:38.240 --> 01:57:41.360 these lessons, some of which we've learned ourselves and some of which 01:57:41.360 --> 01:57:45.840 are general knowledge that are in places like the manosphere that has 01:57:45.840 --> 01:57:47.440 a lot of terrible toxic stuff. 01:57:47.440 --> 01:57:51.920 I mean it has just once you realize how girls work, you 01:57:51.920 --> 01:57:53.360 go in one of two directions. 01:57:53.360 --> 01:57:56.880 And most guys go in the direction that most of that world 01:57:56.880 --> 01:58:00.720 pushes them, which is just rampant fornication. 01:58:00.720 --> 01:58:03.920 Particularly if you have a low regard for girls. 01:58:03.920 --> 01:58:07.760 If you think they're all whores, I can't believe they're like this. 01:58:07.760 --> 01:58:09.840 I'm just gonna have fun. 01:58:09.840 --> 01:58:13.120 I'm gonna exploit those weaknesses and those mistakes. 01:58:13.120 --> 01:58:14.960 That's evil, but it's easy. 01:58:14.960 --> 01:58:17.440 And frankly, it's what most of the world that knows about this 01:58:17.440 --> 01:58:18.320 stuff says. 01:58:18.320 --> 01:58:22.480 There are not many Christians that both know it and have some 01:58:22.640 --> 01:58:27.280 aptitude for it who will also say, here's how this actually applies 01:58:27.280 --> 01:58:32.160 for Christians, because it does, because it the exploitation of weaknesses in 01:58:32.320 --> 01:58:37.120 human nature nature that are used by evil men are the very 01:58:37.120 --> 01:58:39.760 things that shape all of our lives. 01:58:39.760 --> 01:58:41.280 Yeah. In one way or another. 01:58:41.600 --> 01:58:44.800 If you have a weakness or a p proclivity, either you're going 01:58:44.800 --> 01:58:47.280 to keep it in check or it's going to run away with 01:58:47.280 --> 01:58:50.560 you. And that's why anchoring this stuff in Scripture is important, is 01:58:50.560 --> 01:58:53.040 that above all else we need to know that we are not 01:58:53.040 --> 01:58:55.280 our own, but we were bought with a price. 01:58:55.280 --> 01:58:58.960 God paid for us on the cross, and God gives us the 01:58:58.960 --> 01:59:00.960 Holy Spirit, living within us. 01:59:00.960 --> 01:59:04.720 And so that should preclude, when we focus on it, all these 01:59:04.720 --> 01:59:05.840 other mistakes. 01:59:05.840 --> 01:59:09.840 The sinful human flesh that's still here even in the sanctified man 01:59:09.840 --> 01:59:13.920 or woman has those desires and God wants them to be fulfilled 01:59:13.920 --> 01:59:15.360 in a godly way. 01:59:15.360 --> 01:59:20.080 And so as we close out, trusting in those promises needs to 01:59:20.080 --> 01:59:21.280 be paramount. 01:59:21.280 --> 01:59:26.640 And then living a daily life of both repentance from our sinful 01:59:26.640 --> 01:59:32.320 inclinations and battering ourselves in a godly fashion to make ourselves the 01:59:32.320 --> 01:59:35.840 sort of man that God wants us to be. 01:59:35.840 --> 01:59:38.640 God has a lot to say about a lot of these things. 01:59:38.960 --> 01:59:42.640 When we do those, we then have to trust that God will 01:59:42.640 --> 01:59:44.720 deliver on his promises in his time. 01:59:44.720 --> 01:59:48.080 And that's the ultimate source of relaxation. 01:59:48.080 --> 01:59:51.840 We can't be worked up about it and afraid that we're gonna 01:59:51.840 --> 01:59:53.520 fail and God's not gonna deliver. 01:59:54.320 --> 01:59:57.280 You do your part and trust God. 01:59:57.280 --> 01:59:59.760 And God will deliver on his promises. 01:59:59.760 --> 02:00:01.200 I don't know when. 02:00:01.840 --> 02:00:06.960 Not everyone will necessarily ever get a girlfriend and a wife, which 02:00:06.960 --> 02:00:08.000 is obviously the goal. 02:00:08.080 --> 02:00:10.000 Girl goal is not a girlfriend. 02:00:10.000 --> 02:00:13.840 The goal is a godly, faithful wife. 02:00:13.840 --> 02:00:18.080 Find someone for whom you can be a head, make yourself her 02:00:18.640 --> 02:00:22.000 head and be a good head, to be a faithful head, being 02:00:22.000 --> 02:00:26.480 the kind of head that she looks up to and admires and 02:00:26.480 --> 02:00:28.720 needs and trusts and turns to. 02:00:28.720 --> 02:00:31.600 Because that is your role as a man, to be the sort 02:00:31.600 --> 02:00:33.520 of man who has his bearings. 02:00:33.520 --> 02:00:36.320 Even when things are on fire and things are scary and they're 02:00:36.320 --> 02:00:38.720 weird and no one knows what's going on. 02:00:38.720 --> 02:00:42.080 If you can be relaxed and still say, I love you, I'm 02:00:42.080 --> 02:00:45.120 gonna take care of you, I have this, there's nothing to worry 02:00:45.120 --> 02:00:46.720 about. That is 02:00:47.840 --> 02:00:51.680 the essence of marriage where there's a sacrifice as God modeled, as 02:00:51.840 --> 02:00:54.960 Christ modeled for the church, that doesn't involve you dying. 02:00:54.960 --> 02:01:00.160 You can sacrifice simply being being the one who bears under the 02:01:00.160 --> 02:01:03.600 weight of all these pressures without cracking. 02:01:03.600 --> 02:01:05.680 And you can do that by your own strength. 02:01:05.680 --> 02:01:09.120 It can only come from strength in faith in God and in 02:01:09.120 --> 02:01:11.360 the promises he's giv given us. 02:01:12.000 --> 02:01:12.160 And 02:01:12.160 --> 02:01:16.000 so I think we'll end with a reading from Matthew 6, the 02:01:16.000 --> 02:01:17.440 Words of Christ. 02:01:17.760 --> 02:01:20.480 I'm a little tempted to include a link in the show notes 02:01:20.480 --> 02:01:24.800 to a chicken stream as an object lesson possibly in four K, 02:01:24.800 --> 02:01:27.120 but we'll we'll see if I include that or not. 02:01:27.120 --> 02:01:29.520 But Matthew six. 02:01:29.520 --> 02:01:33.360 Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what 02:01:33.360 --> 02:01:36.320 you will eat, or what you will drink, nor about your body, 02:01:36.320 --> 02:01:40.320 what you will put on, is not life more than food, and 02:01:40.320 --> 02:01:42.080 the body more than clothing? 02:01:42.080 --> 02:01:45.600 Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap, 02:01:45.600 --> 02:01:49.920 nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them? 02:01:49.920 --> 02:01:52.480 Are you not of more value than they? 02:01:52.480 --> 02:01:55.600 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour 02:01:55.600 --> 02:01:57.280 to his span of life? 02:01:57.280 --> 02:01:59.680 And why are you anxious about clothing? 02:01:59.680 --> 02:02:03.440 Consider the lilies of the field how they grow, they neither toil 02:02:03.440 --> 02:02:07.520 nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory 02:02:07.520 --> 02:02:09.840 was not arrayed like one of these. 02:02:09.840 --> 02:02:13.040 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today 02:02:13.120 --> 02:02:17.040 is alive, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not 02:02:17.040 --> 02:02:20.160 much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 02:02:20.160 --> 02:02:24.160 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat, or what 02:02:24.160 --> 02:02:26.640 shall we drink, or what shall we wear? 02:02:26.640 --> 02:02:30.880 For the heathen seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father 02:02:30.880 --> 02:02:32.720 knows that you need them all. 02:02:32.720 --> 02:02:36.720 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all 02:02:36.720 --> 02:02:38.720 these things will be added to you. 02:02:38.720 --> 02:02:42.560 Therefore, do not be anxious about to morrow, for tomorrow will be 02:02:42.560 --> 02:02:44.240 anxious for itself. 02:02:44.240 --> 02:02:47.680 Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.